Damaged

Part 28

Tobin's PoV

"Christen is gone."

Alyssa's words kept repeating over and over again in my head. But despite that it's like I couldn't comprehend what she was saying.

"She's gone?" I repeated out loud this time. "How could she be gone I just saw her. She was just here. She was just talking to me. She can't be gone." I refused to believe that Christen wasn't behind the door. I refused to believe that she didn't hear my song. So I pushed the door open and made my way into the room. Into the empty room.

All of her drawers were open, some were completely emptied. I could tell there were things missing here and there, her charges that were always plugged into the wall, the picture of her and her mom from her desk, and her sketch book that she kept on her bedside table among others things.

Things that wouldn't be missing if she was actually planning on coming back soon.

And that's when I noticed it the fresh paint smell. I looked around the room trying to find the source, glancing from one wall to the other until I saw gleaming new paint on the wall that she has dedicated to all the people she has left or have left her. The wall she dedicated specifically to remember and express the pain she has had to go through. I slowly walked to it afraid of what I would see there.

In front of me was a painting of a soccer ball. But it wasn't just a plan soccer ball in each little panel there was a different little picture in each. In one of the hexagons I saw a stack of books, but not just any books, books with spinal coverings including the author and title. All of which were some of my favorites. In another panel I saw there was an ocean with a surfboard stuck in the sand, in the background was a tiny pier and the sun was setting, my favorite place to be other then a soccer field. And lastly in the middle looked like it was the high school field, I could make out the scoreboard. The old shed in the background with Larry, ( what I called the lawn mower) sitting in front.

I felt myself slowly moving away from the wall, towards her bed until I felt it hit the back of my legs and I fell back into it. It was obviously meant for me. The soccer ball and every scene in there was me. I made the wall of people that she considered part of her past. She considered me part of her past.

I felt my heart throb at that thought. The thought that I had finally pushed her past even her limits. I have tested her patience, her understanding one too many times and she had finally give up on me. I felt my whole body just shut down.

I lost her.

I felt arms wrap around me trying to provide me some comfort. "Tobin.." Lauren whispered out.

"She's done with me Laur." I whimpered out to her.

"Tobs?" I heard Allie call from the side of the room I was just standing by. "Tobin?"
She called again when I didn't answer the first time.

"Allie, there's nothing you can say that can make me feel better right now." I lashed out at her.

"Tobin I don't think she has given up on you yet." She countered.

"I saw the painting Allie, its for me. And you know what that wall means to her." I whispered out to her more calmly than before.

"You need to look at this painting again, Tobs." She told me sternly. "And really look at it."

I got up slowly confused on what she was talking about. Once I got back in front of the painting I examined it once again. This time I tried looking more at it. At first I was distracted by what it meant, to really examine it, but once I did I realized what Allie was taking about.