Damaged

Part 20

Christen's PoV
"What in the fuck are you doing out here?" I heard Alyssa shout at me, jolting me awake.

"Fuck." I muttered out, opening my eyes to realize I was on the makeshift bed alone. I let a sigh of relief out. "I must have fallen asleep out here." I immediately got up out of the bed collecting all the towels and folding them, actively avoiding Alyssa eyes which I could feel on me.

"With blankets on top of you?"

"Okay so maybe I chose to sleep outside."

"Why?"

"I don't know Lys, maybe I just felt like it."

"Are you okay?" She kept prodding.

"Of course I am okay. Why wouldn't I be and what's with the interrogation anyway."  I attacked her instead hoping she would stop asking me questions.

"You're doing it again." She said after a few quiet moments.

"Doing what?" I asked her finally looking up at her confused on what she was saying.

"Pushing me away." She told me in a matter of fact tone.

My stomach dropping at her words, knowing she was right and she doesn't even know the extent of how right she is. "I'm sorry Alyssa."

"You don't have to be sorry Chris, just talk to me."

She is right, I should probably talk to someone, but I honestly don't even know where I would start. Do I start with Alex and how I like her and she might like me too, or she could have just been drunk. Or do I start with Tobin showing back up in my life. If that is even what happened. I mean yes she was here last night but what does that even mean? How do I know I can trust what she told me.  Where is she now? And can I actually talk about any of this right now?

"It's just that a lot of stuff happened last night and I am very confused and I don't know what to do."

"Do you want to talk it through with me?"

"Kind of." I admitted. It would be nice to hear what she thinks. Especially about Alex. Alyssa is very good at observing people and getting a good read on them. But I don't know if I want to get her involved just yet.

"Kind of?" She asked me confused

"I do want to talk to you, but I think I just need some more time to get more information first."

"You promise you will talk to me after?"

"I promise Lys."

"Okay good. Now let's go gets some breakfast." She said with a smile on her face now.

So I grabbed my phone, which of course was dead and I headed inside with Alyssa. As soon as I walked into the kitchen, I could smell food and was consumed by chattered. It seemed like the whole team did stay over after all. Which usually I am okay with, but honestly I just want to be alone. Or maybe not alone I wanted to be with someone but I just haven't figured that someone out yet. Tobin was gone and I had no clue when or if she would be back. And Alex well I think the first thing I need to do is talk to her.

"Morning Chris! You want some breakfast?" Ali asked me. I looked around the room first to see if I could find Alex, but she was no where to be seen.