Damaged

Part 26

Christen's PoV

It's been two weeks since I went with Tobin to the diner. I haven't seen her since then and I have barely even talked with her. She spent the first two days with Allie and Alex I expect. I don't really know for sure because all the communication from her I got was the text she sent before saying she was staying with them and then a text at the end of the two saying that Allie was driving her back to campus and that she will see me soon.

Alyssa stayed with me the rest of the weekend. She knew how I was feeling, and so she has spent the last week trying to make me feel better. On one of the nights she even planned out a movie night with Ali and Ashlyn. As soon as they had shown up I put together that Lys had told them all that happened because I saw they wanted to ask questions but thankfully they didn't.

It ended up being a great night, they girls were as usual at distracting me but since then I just couldn't get out of my own head. Because since then I haven't had much to distract me. Well not anything that I wanted to be distracted by.

Before Tobin came to visit and before she confronted Alex and the girls, Tobin used to call me every night and we would talk forever on the phone together, sometimes for hours and now she hasn't called me once this week. But she has talked to some of the other girls, like Ashlyn, Kelly, Allie, and Alex. And so I can't help but to think that she made a decision about who she wants to be with and it's not me.

And even though I always thought that she was still in love with Alex and doesn't like me like she love her I thought that maybe she would still be my friend, maybe I could still be a part of her life, but I guess she doesn't really need me now. She has her first love back, her best friend back, and all her teammates back. She has her old life back and I guess I don't fit in it her life anymore. And as much as that hurts me I can't help but be somewhat happy for her. I always thought she deserved the best and now she has it.

So these pasts weeks I have been trying to figure out how to move on and the only way I know how to move on is to do it the way I have been doing it since my mom died...Leaving.

I have been putting my college decision off for a while now, mostly because I have been happy here, with the girls, with Tobin. I was happy being in the same place for a while with people that care for me, but now thinking about being around Alex and Tobin together, hurts no matter how happy I am for them.

So it's time to make a decision that will affect the rest of my life, but no pressure right?

I have managed to narrowed it down to three schools so far, Penn, UNC, and Stanford. All have offered me scholarships and all have some of my friends going to them, but I can't seem to make a decision. Something is keeping me from making the final decision, but I need to make one sooner than later and so after tomorrow I am planning on taking a trip and visiting all of them and I am hoping that once I am actually there one of them will give me a good feeling. I didn't tell any of the girls because they have all been trying to convince me to go to the school they have committed to and it was getting annoying.

But I have to get through this weekend first. And you maybe be wondering what is happening this weekend? Well Kelley thought I should host a party/ sleepover to help the team welcome back Tobin and kind of renew their friendship. And as much as I wanted to there is no way to say no to Kelley.

So guess what I am doing right now? Getting my house set up for a party. Well kind of, Kelley showed up with a few other of the girls and took over so I instead snuck up to my art room to prepare for what I was about to go through. Kelley seemed to have everything under control because the music is already blasting throughout the house. It's supposed to be a small party, but being that Kelley designated herself as the host I don't think it's going to be that small.