Shine Bright Like Diamond.

56: Two Shall Be As One.

Montana POV

Today has been like the longest day ever in my life. Right from college, I went home since I ain't got nowhere to go. Mom ain't home and Zenny is gettin' ready for her date with Rodney.

  "Tana, could you help me out here? Should I wear this ash body con dress or the baby blue short dress?" She held both dresses beamin' widely.

  "Take the short dress coz nigga is sure gon' feel alive when he sees them thighs of yours". She's got great long slender legs. Very smooth and tanned. Unlike mine. Short and chubby.

Buh Monty always said he loved it...
  "You know Tee, I love yo legs coz it fits right with yo...."
Whatsup withchu Tana, stop thinkin' 'bout Monty. He's got a family now and that is where he belongs. To Shirley and his baby.

I ain't a harlot. Very soon, he gon' get married and obviously get the heck outta Atlanta. Imma nah see him again.

I bit my lower lip restrainin' tears that were buildin' up in my eyes. My throat felt heavy and my heart ached hard.

  "I finna go to the kitchen to prepare something. You gon' come back home?". Zenny looked at me glowin' as ever. That's what loves does to you. You feel like you in heaven.

  "No babes. Imma spend the night at Rodney's. You gon be fine?" She asked showin' concern.
  "Of course, why wouldn't I be.''
  "You know, I could stay back for yo' to keep you company so you ain't gon be alone".
  "No way Zenny. It ain't good to keep yo man up and waitin' for yo' on a date. Imma call up Tammy to spend sometime with me."

  "Ion think she gon' be around coz since she went out Wade, ain't heard nothing from her right from college. I think she gon' be at his crib by now".

I took that in purely hurt. Imma gon' be alone?!

  "I could stay...'' I cut in.
  "No Zenny, Imma be fine and by the way, I've got tons of stuff to keep me busy. Don't worry, iight. I ain't some baby no more."
  "You sure?"
  "A hundred percent". I beamed.
 
I got downstairs to begin cookin' something. Ion know, just something. Maybe stayin' alone ain't gon be so bad.

Instead, here I was sulkin' up ma ass in this huge bowl of ice cream and cryin' ma eyes out and got 'em glued to the TV watchin' Scandal.

Where Kerry Washington is in love with the president and he loves her too buh he's got a pregnant wife.

This is just like ma case.

Right now, am watchin' where he's secretly bangin' up her ass in some secret room and even together in such a short moment, they happy buh they gotta keep their love hidden because of his wife and baby and the whole state of America.

In my case the state is his family and hers. They all supportin' for both of 'em to get married.

I scooped a mouthful of ice cream in my mouth as I cried harder rememberin' his words.

  "Look at me Tee...its gon' be me and you forever Tee. No. Matter. What".

I cried harder coz no matter how hard I try to pretend am strong in front of ma friends, I just get weaker and weaker. I try to act coz ion want no pity looks from nobody. Ion wanna look vulnerable and weak. Ion wanna look pathetic buh inside, I am everything.