the deluded ones [#2]

the

june 11th, 2017

the sky fades away,
my eyes tire each day,
but i stay up,
attempting to keep my eyes open.

why? why do i bother?
you're away today,
distant but fingertips away.

my mind twirls around
the thought of you,
and i lay and ask,
"do you miss him
because your words cannot reach him
tonight?"

and i am silent,
and it is quiet,
and you're still alive in my mind,
and i am breathing just fine.

but i do.
i know i do
because i miss you,
and i know that tonight my words
will not reach you.

we need time for others,
but, even so,
as the night turns late
and i tire even more,
i wonder if i stay up,
waiting and waiting
for you
because i want to read your words,
because i want to smile at your words.

and i know,
i know i do
because, ever since we grew
from who we were when we first spoke
those few months ago, i knew.
i knew because i stayed up,
losing sleep
just so i could speak to you.

but some nights that can't be,
and that's alright with me.
but the nights, with their
darkened skin and glistened eyes,
know that without you,
time passes slower,
and nights last longer
because, without you,
the moon likes to hide
and disturb the direction of time,
and i find myself being misled
by the lack of its light.