the deluded ones [#2]

made

june 14th, 2017

you asked me to do something i've never done before and would never have done, but i did it for you.

i spoke the language of my resting ancestors, and i captured the sound of my voice speaking softly with its blank pauses but heartfelt words, ones you wouldn't understand but i would. i did it all for you because you asked me to.

and, with your muddled, exhausted mind, you listened to my voice as i spoke the things i wanted to tell you but didn't know how to. and you fell asleep after a sleepless day as you told me.

and i am happy, but my thoughts dampen my energetic heart because i'm worsening it all, aren't i? you don't know; you don't know that i can't be with you even though i want to. you don't know, but i'm sending you things i don't do for others.

and i'm digging a hole, and it keeps getting deeper and deeper because of how i feel for you. and i wonder how i'll cope when the time comes, but i know better.

i know i won't cope, not properly anyway.