the deluded ones [#2]

that

april 22nd, 2017

my head is spinning, and i don't know what's wrong with me. i've ignored so many messages from my friends because the thought of giving them homework for once makes me sick as my emotions run on a wheel and become highly unstable.

and it's not your fault that you don't understand the words i speak. it's not your fault that you want me to speak directly, but, as i tried to tell you through my numerous rhymes and patterns, i couldn't speak like that.

everything hurts, and my head is swarming with thoughts of decisions, disappointment, and pain.

my eyes never seem to run out of waterfalls, and it's not your fault that i can't control my mind. it's not your fault that i'm crying at every thought. it's not your fault you don't understand, but i wish you did.

but nothing makes sense, and my mind keeps drawing these images in ink so they sink into oblivious. and, in every one, it always ends with me suffering as things come to an end, a close.

emptier rooms never echo what you really want to say, but sometimes, it's better to just keep quiet than speak the unsaid. and if the sky was black and i was blue, no one would care, that's what i wanted to tell you.

because everything hurts, but i don't want to say so. that's what it all means, those hidden meanings. but you'll never know, and that's why you're asleep as i'm crying again because it's not your fault; it is mine.