the deluded ones [#2]

perspectives.

july 8th, 2017

selfishness, it is my sorrow for i am ashamed to be who i am.

how can i be wallowing in my tormented thoughts when you, yourself, are suffering much more? your pains are relentless, but you still endure all the same, living your days as you want them to be.

and i'm ashamed to have thought of you in such a warped sense a night before when you are doing all you can to do what is right for you and your life. who am i to argue otherwise?

selfishness, it is my vice; you are not meant to be locked away. i do not wish you to be locked away, not in life, not in my thoughts.

for if you can endure the suffering you placed on yourself for a hope of a better future, then i must be able to do the same and create a new hope for myself because, even in death, a light still shines.

moving on isn't dangerous; it is life-giving, and, although i live in the past and bring upon myself emotional blames, there is hope yet to find and rediscover the blessings i once loved and will love.

in selfishness, i spoke of cruelty against you, but my mind has not been stable since and warped thoughts are lies after all. i do not deserve you, i do not deserve much, but i do have you now. isn't that enough?

it is; i know it is. my heart can still feel, and, despite the pain of tomorrow and a future where we may never coincide again, there is now. you are now, and that makes all the difference.