the deluded ones [#2]

me

june 14th, 2017

i tell it all. i tell my mother everything, and i tell her how i feel.

it's as i thought. i have to be brave, even though i don't want to be.

i have to say "no" when i want to say "yes", and i'm crying again. am i crying for you or me? am i crying for the both of us because we never had a chance to be?

i don't know, and i keep wishing it was different. i want it to be different, but it won't be.

and i try to smile as i go along with my mother, but i'm crying still inside; can she see?

she wants the best for me; i know she does. but why does the supposed best hurt so much internally?