the deluded ones [#2]

things

march 2nd, 2017

there's a clear azure sky, not a single cloud is in sight. yet, the wind is turbulent, and it attempts to knock me off my feet. i can barely stand, but i try.

yet, it succeeds. it knocks me to the side, and i'm stumbling to keep my head over. but it's like the air is now the ocean, and it's getting harder to breathe.

my eyes well up, and, when i'm asked about what's wrong, everything falls apart from the moment i sound like i'm about to cry because my voice cracks when i say that i don't know.

i can't control myself; i do not know why. it's the third time this year that it's happened in front of a teacher, and it's insanity because why can i not let myself breathe and relax again? why is it that everything boils over as i forgot to turn it off.

i'm afraid of rollercoasters, and it is why i've never been on a real one, the kind that fly up into the sky with enlightened screams and arms basking in the light. yet, i've been on a rollercoaster since the day i came alive.

they say facing your fears is a great feat, but, if it overwhelms instead of disappearing into the heat, what does it all mean?