Your blood 》Yuri On Ice

The score

Yuri Katsuki

"Please talk to me Yuri. You've barely said a thing since the kiss and cry" Victor pleads as I pull up my navy trousers. Usually he'd help me get dressed but this time I feel like this needs to be a solo act. He won't be there to hold my hand on the ice after all.

"I um- I" I'm at a loss of words, even the upmost effort produces nothing but incoherent stuttering. What do I talk about? What do I say?

"Honey you're too stressed. Just because Otabek bumped you off the top spot doesn't mean he'll win the entire competition" I wince at the reminder. Nobody had expected such a good program from Altin but he delivered. I've always thought Otabek was the most boring skater to watch, his form is too stiff as is his expression. But he certainly knows how to get points, he did two quads in his routine, and unlike me, he landed them perfectly. So, what's to say he won't deliver the same standard today?

"We still haven't spoken about that quad flip." The prospect of shoving a pillow in Victors mouth is becoming too alluring to be normal. I don't want to talk about it.

"I'm sorry, it was terrible"

"No Yuri, I fell in love with you all over again. That one gesture has empowered my heart so much more. It means everything to me." I turn around and blink at the fully suited man before me. I ruined his signature move and he still likes it?

"You're not mad that I didn't land it well?" He makes a strange outraged expression at my words.

"That's outrageous. I wouldn't be mad you fell flat on your face"

I say nothing to that because if I really did fall flat on my face I'd never look at a pair of skates again.

"You're doing it in the free skate right?"

"No way." I deny the order promptly as I pull my grey top with purple sequins on.

"Yes you're doing it" Victor's tone becomes sharper and I turn to glare at him with my navy blazer half on;

"No"

"I use my coach discretion to say that it's the most efficient way to get points and woo your lover"

"I'm not doing the jump Victor. I'll mess it up and shame your reputation"

"No you wont"

"I'm not doing the jump. That's final."

He doesn't understand... he doesn't understand how scared I am to mess it up again.

"Do it for m-"

"I'm not doing the fucking jump Victor!" I yell way louder than I expected I would. Evedentely Victor didn't expect it eather because I rendered him speechless, his voice repressed by the winds of my fear, my fear of faliure.

The rest of me getting ready was muted of all sound; there were no cars driving by, no distant voices of other visitors and no chirps of morning birds. I can't even hear my heartbeat.

Maybe because my heart has hidden in some deep dark corner within me.

As we walk to the rink not in comfortable silence like yesterday but in tense silence I start to have this inexplicable need to see a smile on Victor's face; such is my need that I can't handle his drooping features a second longer before I explode.