Your blood 》Yuri On Ice

Deal with the devil

Yuri Katsuki

Its been a month since Victor left.

I could tolerate it when I was abroad. As the fisherman advised me, I got some plane tickets and changed my scenery.

I spent a week in Detroit with Pichit, it reminded me of the old days, in university. I didn't tell him about Victor. I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud again. So I pretended I was ok, and it worked. I smiled and laughed and had a pretty good time.

From there I went straight to St.Petersburg. Mila and Georgi are doing well, it's also amazing to see how committed Mila is to returning to the ice. Sadly, I couldn't avoid some profound conversation about my mental health with her.  And I almost... I almost told her that the promise on my finger was broken. I wasn't brave enough.

After that I went to Italy and played the same pretend game with Princess Sara and Mickey.

I could only stay in Switzerland for 4 days. 4 dangerous days. I know how to fool Chris but Valentino is a different story... I could see in his eyes that he just knew something was up.

I'm not concerned about that anymore. As soon as I stepped back into my house everything fell appart within me. Everywhere I look I see him. Every spot I this damn place carries a memory of him.

This morning It just got too much. I started thinking about the bridge again. However I resisted and went to the store instead.

So here I am, draped over my table with bottles of alchol surrounding me like an audience watching me loose myself.

And I'm still depressed.  Whoever said alchol makes you happy when you're sad is a liar.

Taking off my glasses, I press my cheek against the cold table and blankly tare at the bandage on my wrist. This is just like before. This is who I am without Victor; a self destructive, depressed man. 

I'm barely even a man. I'm not brave enough to go to that bridge and end this pointless life I now have.

Out of boredom, I pick at the edge of the bandage, wanting to scratch my cut back open and just let it bleed until everything goes black again.

I'm unfortunately interrupted by a nock on the door. At first I sit quietly, not wanting to make human interaction, until somehow, in my half drunk state, I realise the nock has got to be one of a tall man.

Out of instinct, I fall out of my chair and stumble to the door, opening it with a small spark of hope.

"Evening Yu- Jesus, you look terrible"

When I look up and my vision focuses I'm faced with a tanned, concerned face.

"Why the fuck are you here? Go away" I slur. Furious that Jean has come to my house. He's the last person I want to see.

Can I just die? Please.

"Its important. I need to speak to you about Victor" my brain stops spinning as I look at him, body alert.  It's weird that he would have info on Victor but I'm desperate to know anything.

JJ let's himself in and sits at the table, opposite the chair I was just in.

"You're not an alcholic now are you?" He asks, looking at all the bottles and cans around him as I drag myself back into my chair.

"I've been at it since early morning. Now, what do you want to tell me?" I ask, leaning forward and sounding a lot less drunk.