Can't Afford To Lose Another Second With You (Scömìche)

Coincidence

I hated this. I hated the fact that I was socially impaired and completely incapable of holding a casual conversation. It wasn't just something that happened with Mitch, it was every time I talked to someone I wasn't really close with. How did I meet my friends again? I couldn't recall.

I stumbled to our usual table in the cafeteria holding a tray with a bit of pasta. My best friends Kirstin and Avi were already waiting for me and smiled as they saw me, but Kirst was quick to notice something was off.

"What's wrong, big boy?" she asked, concerned. I shook my head. I didn't know. Not for sure.

"I don't know, I just- I feel weird," I said, avoiding my friends' looks. I stood up again, unsure of what I was going to say next. "I'm... going outside. I need some fresh air."

Kirstie and Avi exchanged looks, then Avi looked up at me. "You want me to come with you?"

I shrugged it off. "Nah. It's fine."

Thankfully, my friends understood what that meant - I wanted to be alone. I took my plate and went towards the backdoor of the school which was way closer than the main entrance. I went out onto the campus, the last bits of sun warming the skin underneath my blue letterman jacket. It was slowly getting colder again. I made a mental note to get my winter clothing from the basement later. That's when I nearly tripped over him.

"Hey! Jesus Christ, Scott!"

It was Mitch. He was sipping his drink, looking at me with a partly angry and partly curious expression. "What are you doing here? And why on earth did you just trip over me?"

Well, let's just say I didn't expect that to come out of his mouth. But I liked that confidence.

"I was just gonna get some fresh air, I was in my thoughts, didn't see you, I'm sorry."

He gave me a small smile and patted the grass next to him. "Wanna sit down?"

"Oh, um. Sure, thanks." I took the spot next to him making sure I wasn't being too close so it wouldn't be awkward. What a goddamn coincidence though. When you're just trying to get your mind off of something it pops up right in front of you.

"So," Mitch broke the silence. "Why are you really out here?"

I raised my eyebrows at him. "I-" but my voice broke, knowing what I was about to say would just be another pathetic lie. I looked down at my plate of pasta, letting out a deep breath I'd been holding.

"It's alright," the black haired boy said when he noticed I wasn't going to add anything. "I mean I get it. I'm here too." He shrugged. "Just a couple more months, then it's over." He sounded a bit tired and I wanted to ask him about it. I wanted him to talk to me. I really wanted him to see a friend in me, someone he could trust.

"High school?" I asked cautiously, trying not to seem too nosy.

He nodded, looking at me. For the first time I noticed that his eyelashes were incredibly long. How in the world-

"High school is just a fraction of a person's life. I don't think it's possible for high school to be someone's best time." He let out a bitter laugh, but I nodded.

"Yeah, I know. High school isn't exactly great."

Mitch looked at me with a sad smile and for a second I thought he was going to cry but he didn't. "You've got friends."

I shrugged. "Yeah. But right now I'm sitting here with you," I pointed out, trying to make it clear that I wanted him to be my friend. But he just raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, I didn't wanna keep you here. I just thought maybe you were up to some talking. I don't know-"

"No no, it's fine. To be quite honest..." I chuckled, not sure if I should say it or not but decided to go for it. "To be quite honest part of me also went out here to try to find you. I never see you in the cafeteria."

His face looked amused. "How come you wanted to find me?" He ran his hand through his soft looking hair. The wind carried the sweet smell of almonds to me and made my head spin.

"I thought I had made myself clear. I care about you." Mitch just smiled at that and looked to the ground, flustered. I thought I could see a blush on his face but that might have been my imagination.

My fingers instinctively ran over the smooth material of his blue shirt, part of me not thinking about what I was doing and the other part expecting him to pull away, but his eyes just followed my hand curiously.

"Fan of big brands, huh?" I muttered absentmindedly.

Mitch smiled and raised his eyebrows. "That obvious?"

"You have a very unique style."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"No," I laughed. "I like it. Really."

"Thanks." He smiled so that his dimples showed. He had the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. "I, uh... I aspire to be a fashion designer. I really love this kind of stuff, you know. And growing up I was, let's say fortunate enough to have the possibility to wear Gucci and Saint Laurent to school." He shrugged. "But that's pretty much the only perk that came with it."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Uh..." Mitch suddenly found the ribbon at his collar utterly interesting. "This is kinda personal, so... No offense, but like... I haven't exactly been close to anyone in the last four years."

"Oh yeah. Sorry, didn't mean to- You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to. Whenever I'm being too nosy just feel free to call me out on that."

"Thanks. That's really nice of you."

The cold wind made me think of something.

"By the way, you really don't need to sit around here all by yourself. You can always sit at our table. Can't risk you getting a cold, especially since winter's on the way."

"Thank you, really, but I actually like it out here. It's grown on me over time. I enjoy solitude. It's pretty much the only hour of the day that I have enough time to just think and let everything sink in. But I'll consider your offer."