Can't Afford To Lose Another Second With You (Scömìche)

Sweet Love

Over the next couple of weeks we grew quite close. Whenever Taylor wasn't sitting at our table because she was probably screwing some guy in the restrooms, Mitch sat with us, and when he couldn't because he didn't want to face Taylor and her stupid and pointless accusations, I kept him company somewhere else. My friends immediately liked him and I was happy they did. I hadn't talked to them about my confusing feelings for Mitch, but it made a lot of things easier if I ever decided to tell them.

Mitch was a charismatic person. Once you got to know him you were blessed. He was really fun to hang out with. And to look at. But I kept the latter my little secret.

Ever since Mitch I was requestioning everything in my entire life. Yes, my sexuality, too. I just didn't look at girls anymore, my eyes were just on him and his luscious strawberry flavored lips, as I'd found out when I got a peek at his chapstick's label. Attraction towards a gender doesn't just vanish all of a sudden, does it? I'd always been into girls. I'd always had little crushes on cute girls ever since I knew how to name my feelings. It's always been girls. Until Mitch came around. And what scared me the most was the fact that I could without a single doubt say that I was crushing on him.

Oh god, did I really just think that?

Out of my confused despair I looked it up on the internet, and after coming across several homophobic comments claiming pretty much every sexuality other than straight wasn't valid, I decided the term pansexual fit best. It kind of suited me, and the moment I first read about it it just felt right. So I settled on that and tried to accept the fact that I might not only be into girls but also into pretty boys with pretty brown eyes.

One night I invited my friends over for a pizza movie night. It was Avi, Kirstie, Kevin, Mitch and I. We were just halfway through The Hobbit when Kevin's phone rang and he explained that he had to go home because he had to suddenly babysit his little sister. So it was just the four of us on the couch, eating pizza, cuddled up under warm, fuzzy blankets. I couldn't help but notice Mitch's body heat next to me and how soft his skin felt when we accidentally touched.

When the movie ended, Avi and Kirstie stood up, thanking for the invitation and headed home as well, leaving Mitch and I alone.

"So," I said. "What should we do? We could watch another movie, or-"

"Or we could steal a bottle of wine and sneak onto the rooftop to enjoy the view," Mitch suggested jokingly and shrugged. "I don't know, whatever you prefer."

I had to admit his suggestion sounded fun. It reminded me a lot of romantic movies and I had always wanted to do something so cheesy, so I agreed to it.

We sneaked into the cellar to get what we thought was the best bottle of Chardonnay (thank god my parents had a thing for expensive wines) and sneaked onto the rooftop. The wind was really cold and we had to be careful not to slip on the ice but we managed to get to the railing without falling and hurting ourselves. "Perfect," I said, looking at the cloudless night sky.

"Perfect," Mitch agreed. His eyes had a mysterious glint in the delicate light from the street lanterns. We opened the bottle.

We hadn't brought glasses so we had to take sips from the bottle, but neither of us seemed to care. After just a few sips of white wine and Mitch pressed right against my side, the cold night suddenly didn't seem that cold anymore.

"You're beautiful," I said softly. Mitch chuckled.

"You're drunk." He took a sip from the bottle.

"I know. But you're still beautiful."

He handed me the bottle which was now half empty and I drank from it. I could taste strawberries.

"Mitch?" My breath froze in the winter air.

"Hm?"

I chuckled. "I dare you to chug it."

Mitch raised his eyebrows but grinned. "Are you kidding?"

"Chug as much as you can," I amended.

He accepted the dare without a word and brought the bottle to his lips and drank. He emptied half of what was still inside in a matter of seconds. He smiled, seemingly proud of himself. "Now you, Scotty," he said.

I grinned and took the bottle from him, chugging the rest down. It immediately got to my head and made me feel hot and my throat burn, but I couldn't care less with this beautiful person right next to me.

"Truth or dare?" Mitch whispered, the glint still present in his eyes.

"Truth," I answered instinctively.

"Have you ever kissed a guy?"

"No," I answered, eyes locked on his.

"Would you ever want to try?"

"Hey," I laughed. "One question each. My turn. Truth or dare?"

"Truth," Mitch said, sounding a bit disappointed.

"Have you ever been in love?"

His eyes scanned my face and then went back to my eyes.

"Yes," he answered. Well, I hadn't expected that.

"Would you ever kiss a guy?" Mitch asked without even waiting for me to answer truth.

"Yeah. Absolutely. I, uh-" At this point I knew that the wine had taken all sense of subtlety from me. "I have a thing for black haired boys. With pretty brown eyes."

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to kiss me."

I did. Oh hell, I did.

His lips tasted like a mix of strawberries and Chardonnay and they were even softer than what they looked like. I've always thought his lips were the most kissable lips I had ever seen, but I'd never thought I would be lucky enough to find out. But now, I just wanted to stop time and live in this moment, forever.

Kissing Mitch was my favorite thing to do and I wanted to keep on doing it for the rest of my life. I wanted him - badly. My hands pulled him closer, gripping at his waist and tugging him by his probably expensive as hell black bomber jacket. His lips were made for me, as I was made just for him.

We pulled away for a split second to catch our breaths but Mitch was quick to keep going. His fingers were tangled in my hair, pulling me as close to him as possible.

After a few more seconds, we pulled apart, just staring at each other until Mitch smiled and looked away, flustered.

And that's when I woke up.