Can't Afford To Lose Another Second With You (Scömìche)

(Fe)Male

"Mitchell!" My mom called from downstairs and I could feel the rage vibrate through the whole house. The house was huge, that meant something. I groaned. That was seriously the last thing I needed right now.

"What!" I shouted back, not moving from the chair at my desk. But when she didn't answer but called again instead, I stood up and opened the door. "What do you want?!"

"Come down, immediately!" She demanded, her sharp voice echoing through the hallway, giving me chills.

I obeyed, walking down the big white staircase that marked the middle of our house. My mom stood there, arms crossed, trying to pierce me with her eyes. My breath hitched- something about her was intimidating. I couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, but I knew I shouldn't mess with her in that state or I might have the worst time of my life, if that was even possible after everything my parents had put me through until now. I just avoided her death glare, coming to a halt at the last stair, leaning against the railing, trying to seem relaxed.

"I want you," she started calmly but her voice was tensed, "to give me back my dress. You don't have a use for it, anyway."

I rolled my eyes. "You said it was old and you didn't need it anymore!"

"Right, I did!" She shouted. "I'm going to throw it away. Get over yourself, Mitchell! You're being silly!"

"What do you mean?" My heart pounded wildly but I didn't dare to let that show.

"I will not encourage your stupid little games, Mitch. You should be old enough to realize you're being delusional and naive."

I crossed my arms, frowning. "What are you even talking about?" My stomach clenched.

"The big shows, really?" She huffed. "Are you that stupid? Let's put some things straight, Mitchell." She looked at me expectantly, but I avoided her look. I would be lying if I said I wasn't terrified.

"Look at me," she demanded sternly and I looked up, suppressing a whimper that wanted to escape my mouth. "You're a boy. Boys don't wear dresses."

I shook my head weakly. "That's not true," I said as steadily as I could. It came out as a mutter.

"I don't care what you think now," she continued. "In a few years you will understand. You'll grow up and you'll see that God makes no mistakes."

I looked up at her now, staring right into her mud green eyes. "First of all," I began. "Fuck God. Second, I will never be a boy. And damn right, I was born that way and I will always be gender fucking queer, there's nothing you can do about it. Get over yourself, Nel!"

She hated it when I called her by her name. She looked at me, her face red with rage.

"Oh, you'll pay for this!" She said through gritted teeth.

I knew I would. Nel could be the fucking devil when she wanted to. But right at the moment I was proud for having stood up for myself. That gave me the reassurance I needed not to break down. Nevertheless, I felt like a piece of shit, standing in front of my fucking birthgiver.

"I want," she began, her teeth still gritted, "you to show me some respect. You're my son, for God's sake! I'm going to punish you, but for a first, you're grounded. I know you've been hanging out with that boy from your school!"

That really hit me right in the guts. I didn't want her to know about Scott in the first place but she found out anyway, mothers like to gossip after all. She had the habit of taking away everything that ever meant anything to me and for once, I wanted to keep something. He's the first person to ever be that close to me. I might have to pay for this but she would, too. I wouldn't just take it in this time. And I knew exactly how to get back at her.