Can't Afford To Lose Another Second With You (Scömìche)

Girlfriend

The evening went better than expected, in fact, not everyone automatically assumed we were dating - my cousins, Marc and Shelby, who thankfully had no idea about me not being straight, didn't even notice Mitch at first. When they did, they asked if she was my friend and Mitch just smiled at the six year old twins, nodding, but didn't bother explaining the situation.

The moment we were done eating (by eating I mean stuffing everything inside ourselves until we could barely breathe) and were half a bottle of champagne in, I took Mitch's hand under the table and pressed it lightly. He looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Let's go upstairs, I wanna show you something."

We left the table without attracting too much attention and went into my room.

"What did you want to show me?" Mitch asked after a moment of silence. I didn't answer, reaching behind my bed to pull out a new bottle of sparkling wine.

Mitch grinned at me. "What? You wanna get me drunk?"

"No" I shook my head. "Besides, it'd take a lot more to get you drunk - no offense."

He shrugged. "You're not wrong."

I looked at him in the dimmed light that came from the street lanterns. My mind spinned, making me numb to everything that wasn't Mitch. He was so beautiful, I needed to regain my breath again.

"You okay?" he asked worriedly and I forced my look away, clearing my thoughts.

"Yeah," I breathed. "What time is it?"

Mitch checked his golden watch. "Half past eleven" he answered. "Do we need to be back downstairs at midnight?"

"I don't think so. I got a different idea." I looked towards the window. "What do you think about watching the fireworks from the rooftop?"

"I'd love that."

I opened my drawer and took out two champagne glasses I had hidden there, popping the bottle and filling them. I handed one to Mitch and we clinked glasses, chuckling at how fancy we were feeling.

We drank pretty much in silence, and when the clock hit 11:50, we climbed out of the window and up the ladder to the rooftop. I brought the bottle with us, but we left the glasses in the bedroom.

"It's almost New Year," I mentioned to ease the tension but it was there, as always. Mitch smiled.

"Yeah." He took in the view. There was really not much to see except a lot of other houses with their lights switched on, a bit of snow in the yards and a few cars driving around. "I hope next year's gonna be better," he added.

"I'm sure it will," I just said. I didn't want to get too explicit, mentioning we'll graduate and everything because I felt like Mitch didn't need that right now. He just needed reassurance.

"So," I took a sip out of the bottle, handing it to Mitch. "What do you think of my family?"

Mitch chuckled. "They're great. Your little cousins are sweet."

"Yeah," I laughed. "At least they didn't ask if you were my girlfriend."

"I could be, you know."

"What? My girlfriend?" I scanned his face to see if he was just joking but there was no sign of mischief. He was being serious.

He shrugged. "Yeah. I mean, we're basically a couple anyway, wouldn't make a big difference."

I was confused. Only hours ago he had been explaining to me that he wasn't sure what he felt and now-?

"You- you want us to be a couple?" I asked for reassurance because my mind wasn't really grasping on the things he was saying.

"Yeah," he answered, looking at me. "I think I made up my mind."

"You think," I repeated, still insecure.

"I definitely feel something for you," Mitch amended. "I think I do love you."

"So you're sure about this." It wasn't supposed to be a question, but somehow I still hoped to get an answer.

"Yes, I'm sure," Mitch said. "I love you, Scott, and I want to be with you."

His words made my heart pound hard before my mind could even process the information. I pulled him closer to me, holding onto his jacket and pressed my lips against his. It was the best kiss so far.

"I love you, too," I breathed in between the kisses, if Mitch would even let me because he was quick to shut me up effectively. His breath tasted of alcohol, but I couldn't care less. I wanted to feel him, to touch him, I wanted this moment to never stop. "Goddamn, I've always loved you ever since I first saw you."

Mitch flinched when fireworks exploded in the night sky, but didn't stop kissing me. Instead, he took the second to push me against the railing and wrap his arms around me, kissing me longingly and passionately. "We're gonna be so good," he whispered and I shut him up with a kiss immediately after.

It wasn't until a few minutes later that we parted, lips swollen and heavy breaths, but still clinging to each other like we're one. I held him in my arms, pulling him close as we watched the fireworks light up the sky and drank the whole bottle up.

***

It happened that night in my bedroom.

Mitch's skin was warm against mine, making me shiver out of pleasure. It wasn't really loud, the sounds he made were sweet and loving and it made me smile more into the kisses than I'd like to admit. I ran my fingers down his spine, than back up, caressing him and making him feel loved. We were completely and utterly in sync - just as if we were made for each other. And deep down, I knew this was true. Mitch was my everything, and I didn't want to ever let him go. But I didn't have to. We were one. He was mine and I was his and I realized that I had him now.

His chest was soft and I covered it in kisses and lovebites whenever I had the chance to. I learned that his neck was really sensitive so unless I wanted to tickle him I shouldn't kiss him there, but that didn't stop me from doing it anyway, getting chuckles in return.

"Don't do that, it tickles," Mitch said every time I did but the sound of his laugh made me want to do it even more. His laugh - a very precious and fragile thing. But I tried not to think of that right now. Instead, I pressed kisses to his collarbone tattoo, making him shiver, but he pulled me back to kiss my lips again.

A few minutes later we pulled each other over the edge and fell asleep in each other's arms, not bothering to take a shower.

***

"Mitch?" I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "Mitch, what's wrong?"

I didn't get an answer. Instead, a tear fell down his face and he looked bitter about it.

"Mitch? You're scaring me, what's wrong?" I sat up, pulling the blanket with me. Mitch was sitting on the floor, fully clothed and apparently desperately trying to keep himself from crying but it didn't work.

"I- I'm sorry," he choked and another tear streamed down his face which he quickly wiped away.

I shook my head, confused. "There's nothing to be sorry about, what are you talking about?"

He stood up and walked to the door. "You don't deserve this, I'm sorry," he said, his voice breaking. He opened the door and then he was gone.