Can't Afford To Lose Another Second With You (Scömìche)

Broken

A/N: Trigger warning: Suicide mention

I actually teared up writing this I hope you're okay!! 

Scott's POV

My mom made me turn back home.

I had been desperately trying to find Mitch, but he was nowhere to be found. The second my phone rang I answered, hoping Mitch had called me back but it was my mom. She told me she knew where he was and I should come back. So I did.

Heart pounding wildly, I ran inside, just to find two police officers standing in the living room, talking to my parents. My stomach clenched, a part of me already knowing what was going on. My mom was crying.

"Are you Scott Hoying?" One of the officers asked me calmly, and I nodded, not saying a word. I couldn't. My throat tightened as if I was just about to cry but no tears came.

The officer handed me a piece of paper.

"We found this in Mr. Grassi's car. Your name and address was written on the back of it."

I unfolded the paper, anxiety making my stomach churn so badly I wanted to puke.

Without a doubt it was Mitch's handwriting. Shakier than usual but I would always recognize those beautifully curved cursive letters.

I looked back up at the officers.

"Is he really dead?" I managed but tears stung in my eyes at the slow realization. "Is he dead?" I cried.

"The car was found by a cliff, sir. We haven't been able to locate his body but everything points towards suicide. Did he ever show signs of depression?"

"I'd never think he'd-" I wiped the tears away. "He didn't seem like the kind of guy to just give up like that. I mean, yeah, he was miserable but he was strong. I- fuck."

I sat down, burying my face in my hands. I was still deeply shocked but the tears didn't wait. They came and wet my shirt, my pants, my hands, everything.

"I should've kept him here. I- fuck, it's my fault. I killed him!"

"Sir," the female officer put a hand on my shoulder. "We need you to elaborate. Do you know anything that could have triggered the suicide?"

"It doesn't fucking matter!" I shouted. "He's dead! He won't be coming back!"

"Give him a moment," I heard my dad say and I was endlessly thankful for that. "He's just lost his best friend."

"Boyfriend. He was my boyfriend," I said in between sobs. "He was my fucking everything. And I've lost him." My voice broke and more tears streamed down my face, blurring my view but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

"I had him for one night," I sobbed, but I doubt someone could understand me.

My dad stood up, came up to me and hugged me tight. I couldn't help but cry even harder because I remembered hugging Mitch this way whenever he was sad. And knowing- realizing that I would never be able to touch him, to hug him, to kiss him again was all it needed to make me want to be dead as well.

And suddenly, I could understand Mitch a bit better.