Can't Afford To Lose Another Second With You (Scömìche)

Feelings

"I kissed Scott again."

Mrs Clarke looked at me, perplexed. She raised her eyebrows, waiting for an explanation.

"I don't know why I did it," I defended myself. "It was night, we were giggly and light-headed, and the mood was... kinda sexual. Besides, he started kissing my neck and I couldn't resist him."

I didn't know where I was trying to go with my excuses but I hoped to somehow find a reason for my actions, another explanation rather than that I was in love with him. Because that just couldn't be true. I loved him, sure, from the bottom of my heart, but in love? No.

"Why did he start kissing your neck?" Mrs Clarke wanted to know, keeping her professional tone.

"Why? I don't know, he just did! As I said, it was kinda sexual."

"Why was it sexual?"

"We... uh..." I looked to the ground. How did you tell your therapist you went skinny dipping with your best friend and ended up making out with him and were panicking about what was going to happen next? That was just not something you would have a casual discussion about.

"Take a deep breath, Mitch," she said, setting her pen and notebook aside. "What happened?"

"We... might have tested the- uh... the hot tub in my backyard." I suddenly took interest in my chipped nails, the beige wearing off slowly. Ugh. I needed to to put on another layer. I also made a mental note to go out and buy a new top coat later. I was running out of it.

"I see..." She opened the notebook and wrote something down, then turned back to me.

"What do you feel, now, Mitch?"

"About the kiss?"

She nodded.

"I feel... good? I don't know, I mean I don't feel bad or anything."

"What did you feel while kissing him?"

I hesitated. "Are you trying to ask me if I'm in love with him without actually saying it?"

She gave me a small smile. "Basically, yes. That's what I was trying to do. What's your answer?"

I rubbed the back of my neck, insecure. I had been thinking about this, and I felt like I knew the answer. But still... If there was a chance to change my mind...

"I..." I began, my voice breaking. I cleared my throat. "I think I am."