Doctor, Doctor | JinKook

Thirty Eight

POV: Seokjin
I did not want to go on another date, whether it was with Nam Lola or not.

"Kimi, please. Just stop trying to set me up with all of these other people! I appreciate your kindness and your support, but I don't feel ready to be in a relationship again. I'm sorry." I frowned.

"Oh, Seokjin. You just need to distract your mind off of Chairi, believe me. Another girl will surely make you love again! You just have to be patient, and that one special girl will come for you soon!" Kimi replied enthusiastically.

"Look, Kimi. That's absolutely pathetic. I don't think you get it. I'm not just going to sit around and wait for the right woman, no! That's stupid, and a huge waste of time, and I'm not going to be doing that."

"But-"

"No! Forget it, Kimi! I don't give a fuck anymore! I don't care if I never love anybody else ever again! None of this shit matters anyway, they all leave in the end! Everybody leaves me!"

I felt like I was on the verge of tears, desperately trying to blink them away before Kimi saw.

"Seokjin... Don't cry!"

"Why the hell does any of this matter to you?! How does this benefit you in any way?! Why the fuck should my own love life be interrupted and tampered with by someone else? Who on earth gave you the fucking right to do that with me?! Nobody fucking did! Nobody!"

"Calm down, Seokjin... I'm sorry, just, shh, calm down, don't raise your voice." she sighed, but I didn't listen.

"No, you never fucking listen to what I have to say! You just try to fix my shit yourself, but you always end up screwing my life up even more! Long ago, my parents left me! Not so long ago, Chairi left me! Even my own fucking children left me! When they get what they want from me, when they finish using me, they leave me because I'm not needed anymore! That's what always happens!"

"I said to stop raising your voice at me! I said I'm sorry, how much more of an apology do you need from me?! It's not my fault your parents decided to abandon you! It's not my fault your wife found someone better! It's not my fault your three children were dragged along by Chairi! Don't give me all of your problems, because none of it is my fault and I haven't done anything wrong! I was only trying to help you!"

"I didn't blame you for anything! I'm saying that everybody leaves me, and soon enough, you probably will too! I shouldn't fucking be alive because I'm horrendously useless anyway, but that doesn't seem to bother you! All you care about is whether I'm in a relationship or not!"

"Well, why do you think? I love you, Seokjin, for god's sake."