Fear:
Trevor's POV••
It's that feeling that makes your hands sweaty and makes you almost speechless. It makes you wanna run to safety but you can't because you feel that your legs turned into jelly. It makes your insides turn and you wanna throw up but you can't. It's that thing that makes you feel weak and you hate it because you know that you're stronger than that. It brings tears to your eyes and the tears freely flowing one by one.
You know what it's called?
It's called fear.
There are different types of fear. But there's this special one I've been trying to ignore. This fear is like a paranoia. It's that fear that you feel that you can't trust anyone and you feel that someone is doing something behind you're back. That fear that you can't date anyone because you feel that they'll cheat on you. Well that's the fear I'm running from. I've pushed away everyone that matters to me, and built up solid walls around me that no one will ever knock down.
All of this happened on the day the girl I thought was my soulmate cheated on me.
It was raining hard and there was thunder. The water droplets were ice cold and pounded hard against my back.
I climbed the old weeping willow tree that was by her bedroom window, trying not to slip. I opened her window and jumped in her room. I got up and closed the window looking around her room, but she wasn't there.
I saw a picture frame on her nightstand and I picked it up. It was the picture of her and I at the fair, she was holding pink cotton candy, my arm around her waist. I frowned and wondered why she had the frame face down.
I sighed and made my way downstairs stopping to see her lips on another guy. Her hands were on the back of his neck and his hands on her waist. I stood there, not being able to speak. For a minute, I lost my breath and managed to make a pathetic squeak. Their heads whipped over to me and her eyes widened, quickly getting off the guy.
"Trevor, I can explain-" she started but I put my hand up, signaling for her to be quiet.
"It's pretty self explanatory. It was nice loving you and I hope you're happy with your new decision." I said looking at the guy when I said the last part. I walked out of her house without her chasing after me.
I spent a week crying and then I realized that everyone gets hurt by everyone. So from that day on I pushed everyone away, not letting anyone in or letting them know what's wrong.
That's what fear does to you. It drives you to the limit where you can't trust anybody. And the worst part is
you can't escape it.
