The Struggles in Life

My lesson of the day :-)

The words suicide scare me now,

I never realized how many people actually care,

Did I make a mistake saying things/

Yes, 

But I can learn from what was lost and what was gained,

Lost is still unsure,

I may have lost my best friend from my mistakes,

But I gained others where it is was good or bad I gained it,

I gained being referred to mental help,

As much as it scares me,

Maybe it can help,

I have to see the positive,

I threw away my pills and blades,

I'm trying to improve,

Not for others but for myself,

I am doing this because because nobody can save me but myself,

people won't be there forever,

And I realized something,

Yea,

As much as I am hurting myself,

It is probably hurting other just as bad or worse,

I often think I deserve this pain,

 When others think the opposite,

This frighting experience that happened today helped open my eyes,

People do care,

As much as I deny it,

As much as I try to deceive myself,

Deep down I know the truth,

Today wasn't the best,

But then again it wasn't my worse,

I just let fear control me,

But I need to be in control,

As a friend told me,

Smell the roses,

And blow out the candles,