The Other Girlfriend

Regrets

Harry’s POV 

                I look at Callie’s alarm clock to see what time it is and I see it is five in the morning.  I breathed out slowly trying not to wake Callie who is sleeping next to me.  I guess this is peaceful, but I’m awake from all the thoughts in my head.  I keep thinking about last night and I wonder what I have done to get this far with Callie.

                Most of the movies I’ve seen show this moment as the part where the characters until something really bad happens right afterwards.  I mean I hope a giant spaceship is not on its way to destroy me.  But I’m not at peace.  Having sex with Callie didn’t change anything I thought about her and it scares me.

                I had hoped by doing it with her that I could feel something positive from this relationship, but I don’t and that worries me.  I still remember so clearly how I felt about her forcing me to break Jenny’s heart.  It made me uncomfortable.  I didn’t want to do it, but she insisted that I do it and I did.  Now I regret every decision I’ve made with Callie.

                Before I broke up with Jenny, I thought everyone was going to turn out again.  I had planned on making Jenny my official girlfriend until Callie threw the curveball of forcing our relationship to be real.  The thought of Callie gushing to Jenny everything we had done was too unbearable for me.  If anybody was going to tell her about this affair, it was going to be me.

                It was my fault and I wanted to take the full responsibility of that and I’m glad Callie let me do that.  I was the one who decided doing the whole two girlfriends at once was a good idea when really it was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.  Now I’m stuck with the girl who lured me with a hook and now I’m her prey she is savoring.

                I should’ve known from the beginning that Callie only desired sex from me.  That was all she ever wanted from me and now she has it.   Just even thinking about this makes me feel used and undesirable.  She wanted something from me and she took it from me while I was too naïve to know what was happening.

                Shame on me.  I’ve lost my best mates in the whole world and the one girl who truly cared about me to this.  I gave up love for the opportunity to be someone’s toy.  You’d think as long as I’ve been with here and sharing this “girl’s” dorm room that I would’ve been kicked out or at least reprimanded by now, but somehow I have yet to be officially caught by an RA.  Maybe this happens more than I think it does here.

                How did all of this happen?  How did Callie succeed in manipulating me so well?  I try to look back at all of the times I was with her and I try to figure it out.  Was it her flirty and supposedly good natured personality?  Or it was the way she tried to constantly steal me away from Jenny when I was dating her?  I want to get up and wander around the room in my thoughts, but my arms are wrapped around Callie’s naked body and I can’t bring myself to try to wake her up.

                One thing is clear in my mind now.  I have to get out of this relationship.  I don’t know how or the best way to do in a mutual agreement, but I must.  I have to apologize to Jenny for everything.  I should begging on my knees for her forgiveness right now instead of sleeping with her enemy.  The problem is a good and clean breakup takes time and I want to be strong when I do this.  No tears like last time.  Jenny deserved to see me weak and reluctant because I was.

                Callie will get no such thing.  I will make sure of it which means I should drag this relationship on even if right now I don’t want to.  If anything, I hope I can bring myself back up from the tar I’m in.  I know what poisonous relationship does to a person and I know I don’t want to be affected in that way.  I close my eyes and try to get more sleep before I wake back up.