Desire 2

Chapter Nine

As I drove to the guys apartment, I paid close attention to the curves of the road and the lines that separated the different lanes. I did say much other than the occasional "yeah" or "no".

The car stayed silent most of the time as I thought about what I would tell them or ask them. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that they had all been around Austin and that no one had thought to inform me. It made absolutely no sense to me and as I thought about it, I became more and more furious.

"You wanna tell me where we're going?" Drew laughed.

I turned towards him, quickly turning my head back to the road.

"Uhm, you know who Alex and Robert are right?"

"Austin's friends, right?" He asked.

"Yeah well, I've just got a few little words for them. That's all," I smiled, angrily.

"Should they be afraid?" He asked, beginning to laugh.

"Yes," I shot back.

**

I made my way up to their apartment as Drew waited in the lobby of the apartment complex. I made my way towards the elevators and pressed the button that would lead me up to their floor.

The elevator doors shut as I stood in the middle of the elevator, fighting back tears. It really sucked too because I wasn't one of those people who just cried when they were sad or happy. See no. I cried when I was sad, happy, excited, overwhelmed, and when I was pissed. Which I hated because I hated crying because it made me feel weak and I hated feeling weak.

The elevator doors opened on the floor and I stepped out, walking to the right towards their apartment. Once I reached the door, I contemplated how I should go about doing what I was about to do but decided to go with it rather than over analyzing the situation.

I threw my fist against the door three times and waited for someone to answer.

Alex answered the door, to no surprise, and stood confused for a moment.

"Camdyn," he began.

"Hey buddy," I laughed, pushing my way inside the apartment.

Once I walked in, I saw Destiny sitting with Robert at the dining room table and Zach and Amanda resting on the couch.

"Hey college girl," Zach shot at me with a friendly smile.

Things with him had been better lately. He'd gone back to classes about his addictions and went to anger management classes and I honestly didn't remember the last time that he was this good but none of that changes the way I felt.

"Shut up," I shot at him.

"Damn," he replied as he slumped down onto the couch.

"Was anyone ever going to tell me?" I shouted.

"Tell you what?" Robert asked.

"Oh I don't know. Maybe that Austin was here a couple days ago?!" I began to scream.

"Cam, calm down," Destiny spoke, stepping towards me.

"Get the hell away from me! You knew too! You all did! You all hung out with him and got to talk to him and I got shit! I got nothing from him! Not a 'hello' or a 'how are you?' Nothing and that is bullshit! Do you hear me?" I continued to scream.

Zach stepped up from the couch and began towards me, noticing that I had tears streaming down my face.

"Cam, it's okay," he assured me, reaching his arms out towards me only for me to slap them away.

"No!" I yelled at him.

"Okay. Seriously Cam. Calm down," Amanda demanded.

"How could none of you have told me? How could you all have just hung out with him and not even thought of me?" I asked as they all looked around to each other.

"Cam, that's not what happened," Alex spoke.

"Then enlighten me! What happened Alex?" I asked.

"We all wanted to call you and we were ready to get you over here and we told Austin that we were gonna call you and invite you over so you two could talk but he said no,"

I suddenly didn't feel angry anymore. I felt heartbroken and empty and alone. And it was obviously visible to them.

"Cam, he didn't want to see you," Alex finished as Destiny and Amanda stepped closer to me.

"We are so sorry, Cam!" Amanda began.

"You guys are pathetic, that's what you are," I yelled.

"Don't be like that! We're still your friends and we still care about you!" Destiny added.

"No. A real friend would've called and told me regardless of what he said because I would've called you," I began as they looked down at the ground.

"We're sorry," Amanda spoke, her voice becoming shaky.

"Yeah. You are and you're not my friends," I shot out as their expressions became blank.

I fought back the tears as I pushed past them towards the door.

I pulled on the doorknob and opened it to see Drew standing across from me with a smile on his face which fell flat as he realized that I was upset.

"Who the hell is this?" asked Zach from behind.

"This is Drew. Drew these are Austin's friends," I replied sharply

"Don't be like that Cam!" Destiny shouted.

"Let's go!" I forcibly smiled at Drew and pushed my way out the door.

"Oh and by the way, when you see Austin again," I began, "tell him I said that I never want to see him again," I smiled before shutting the door behind me.

**

We had made out way through the apartment complex to the exit and stood in the parking garage beside my car.

I reached for the door handle I the drivers side and opened the door, which was only pushed back by Drew's hand.

"Hey, hey, are you okay?" He asked as I looked up at him.

"Yeah. I'm fine," I lied.

"Are you really?" He asked, leaning over me.

I began to laugh as he stood close to me. Laughing seemed to be the only way to keep the tears back so I figured it was worth a shot. I looked back up at him as he stood, his arms at his sides and his expression soft.

After I had caught a glimpse of his expression, the laughs suddenly became harder to force out and instead, slowly but surely turned to cries.

I stood, tears beginning to once again stream down my face as I was immediately pulled into his embrace. I held onto a piece of his shirt as I leant my face onto his chest. I felt his arms wrap around me but now around my waist or back. One hand found its way to the back of my neck while the other found its way to the back of my head and slid though my hair, grasping a piece in his hand.

"It's okay," he spoke, softly.

"No it's not," I answered, "I'm tired of this. I'm tired of feeling this way and always feeling so alone. I'm just tired of it all," I finished, burying my head into his chest.

"I promise you that you aren't alone. You have me and I'm not going anywhere," he replied, holding me tight in his arms.

And for the first time in a long time, I didn't feel alone.