Desire 2

Chapter Thirty-Four

"When I first left, I was a mess. At first, I just went to Texas. I thought that it'd be easier to be heartbroken around my family and friends and that I could feel at home with them but you know my family. First night that I got there, they threw a huge party with alll our friends and my friends and it was awful. I felt so alone, even though I was surrounded by all these people that I loved. So, I stayed for a few days, met up with some old friends who tried to cheer me up. It was more of a temporary solution than a permanent one," he finished as I shuttered at the thought.

"I left after a couple days and went to the airport and I just remember looking up at all the outgoing fights and seeing that there was one to Miami and one to Paris," he paused, looking up from his hands lying flat on the table and at my eyes, "It was the hardest decision of my life choosing that flight to Paris. It was also the stupidest," he laughed, causing a smile to form on my face.

"I went to Paris, got an apartment, bought the stuff I needed for it and did some self-discovery just like I think you did," he finished.

"I'm not that different from before,"

"Are you kidding? You're a lot stronger than you were before. I mean, you probably hit as hard as I do now," he laughed, raising a hand to his cheek.

"I'm sorry I slapped you," I smiled, trying to fight the laughter.

"It's okay. I kind of deserved it. And Alex definitely deserved his,"

"I'm not going to apologize for that one," I smiled, pushing a piece of my hair from my face.

"Let's talk about this Drew guy," he stated, licking his lips and bracing himself for what was to come.

"Austin, we don't-"

"No, we do. I still have stuff to tell you and you have stuff to tell me. I wanna start over, you and me. This time maybe we can do it right," he smiled.

"Austin, I told you, I can't-"

"I know you can't be with me the way that I want you to be but what about later? And the way I look at it, I have quite a bit of making up to do. Now: Drew," he took a deep breath, "Has he ever put his hands on you?"

"He's never hit me if that's what you're trying to ask," I stated, staring straight at him.

"Are you happy with him?" he paused, looking directly into my eyes, "Or were you?"

"Yeah, I was. I love him," I briefed, Austin's jaw clenching at the statement, "But being with him taught me that no love is similar to the first,"

Austin smiled at me, before licking his lips and beginning to speak once more. He was beautiful.

"There was a girl," he paused as the world suddenly stood still, "It was nothing serious. Just a way to keep my mind off of you, I guess. She didn't mean anything though, I promise,"

"It's okay," I lied, ignoring the blinding pain in my chest, "it's not like we were together or anything. Technically, you could've done anything you wanted to do,"

He made a deep sighing noise before standing up and walking towards my side of the table. Austin reached out his hand for me to take before I placed my hand on his and pulled me up to meet him.

I felt his arms wrap around, at first tense then relaxing as his fingers laced with my hair. He was warm and his embrace made me feel safe. In his arms, I felt safe and secure, a feeling I didn't have when I was in Drew's. And that scared me.

"I'm gonna let you go and unpack your stuff and get settled now," he laughed, "Can I call you later?"

I attemted to speak but was at a sudden loss for words. I managed a simple nod before he leant closer and placed a kiss along my temple.

"I love you," he whispered, his head resting onto mine.

"Austin," I began, closing my eyes.

"You don't have to say it back but I just need you to know," he finished before stepping out the door and exiting the house.