Desire 2

Chapter Thirty-One

"Then I left," I sighed, looking up at Todd who sipped on his coffee.

"That's one hell of a story," he stated, placing his cup down, "I think you're right though,"

"You do?" I asked, suddenly feeling very weak, having just poured my heart out to a random stranger.

"Yeah. You have to do what's best for you. Even if it hurts you. You can make all these other people happy but none of it matters unless you yourself are happy. You need to be content with the person you are and love yourself before you can fully love someone else. Both of these guys seem like okay guys. They just seem kind of stupid at points. And who knows, maybe a year from now: you're in love with one of them, getting engaged, starting a life with them or maybe with someone you haven't even met yet or maybe you're travelling the world, discovering yourself and falling in love with yourself. But you have to be happy when you're doing it or none of it's going to mean anything. Life is too short and too beautiful to not be happy,"

I swallowed hard, trying to fight the tears from coming. He was absoutely right. He had just said exactly what I was thinking before I could even put my own words together.

"And damn girl. You are independent as hell. You don't need a guy in your life," he laughed at the snap of his fingers.

"I wish all guys were more like you," I smiled.

"Oh believe me. If more guys were like me, I highly doubt you'd be anywhere near this problem," he laughed.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm gay," he blurted out as I almost choked on my sip of coffee.

"I should've known," I laughed, "the perfect ones usually are,"

"You're too kind," he smiled, "But it's like 10:15 which means that I can leave this hellhole,"

I laughed as he stood from the table as I did the same.

"I'm really glad I met you tonight," I laughed, pulling him into a hug.

"I'm glad I met you too," he smiled, wrapping his arms tighter around me, "and make sure whatever boy you chose, whether it's one of these two or someone else, make sure he's worthy of calling an amazing girl like you his,"

We pulled away from each other, smiling before parting ways. I sat back at the table and pulled out my phone, before flipping it right side up and dialing the number.

I raised the phone to my ear and held it until he picked up after three rings.

"Hello?" he spoke.

"Hi. It's me. I was just wondering if you could come pick me up,"

"Where are you at?" he continued.

"I'm at some coffee shop in downtown Miami. It's called 'Cafè lamoè'," I stated.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be there in fifteen minutes," he repled before hanging up the phone.

**

I stood outside as he pulled up and I took a step towards the car, sliding in the passenger side.

"Hey. Are you okay?" Matt asked, looking straight at me before a smile spread across my face.

"I think I'm good. I just didn't want to go back to my dorm tonight. It's kind of been a rough one,"

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked, still as a board.

"Not really. I think I'm good. I kind of just wanna spend the rest of Christmas break at home with you and Anna," I smiled.

"Did you and Drew break up?"

I took a deep breath, "Yeah. But I'm okay. I need to get back to being myself and I can't do that with a guy in my life right now. I'm just gonna do me for a while," I smiled as he did.

"Well, I think that's a damn good idea,"

**

I spent most of the drive home, explaining to Matt that I was perfectly fine now which was mostly true to my suprise. I was okay with being alone for right now and I was actually kind of excited for what was gonna come next. It was something that I hadn't felt in a long time.

We entered the house to the sight of Anna sitting on the couch, holding a tub of ice cream, her face lighting up when she saw me.

"Oh my goodness! Hi!" she yelled attempting to stand as I ran to hug her stoping her from all the struggling.

I stood in this living room full of memories as they both stared at me, waiting for me to speak.

"So, um, I guess I'm gonna go get a shower now," I smiled, stepping towards my room.

"We'll be out here afterwards if you wanna talk about anything," Matt shouted from across the room.

"I'm fine," I laughed stepping into my room.

**

I shook the water from my hair as I reexamined my room. I was really suprised that they didn't change it into some nursery considering that it was the biggest room in the house and they were having twins.

The purple walls gave everything a sense of clarity. It was like as long as I was within these four walls, nothing could hurt me and I liked that feeling.

I sat down on my bed, tears forming in my eyes for no apparent reason when Matt walked in.

"Hey," he stated, running over to the bed.

"I'm fine," I laughed, wiping my eye.

"No, you're not. Just tell me what's going on," he demanded.

"It's really not that big of a deal,"

"Damn it, Camdyn!" he shouted, "Will you just let me be your big brother for five minutes?"

I shot him a sincere look and licked my lips before speaking.

"I saw Austin tonight and Drew has been talking to his ex for a while now and I just kind of snapped and broke up with the both of them I guess. I just want to be the person that I was before. I want to be independent and happy and I can't do that with either of them right now. I just needed to be home tonight with you guys,"

Matt stood up from the bed pulling me with him and wrapped me into his arms before I let my head rest on his shoulder.

"I never liked either of them to be honest," he stated as I laughed.

"Hey. Can you drive me to campus tomorrow so I can pick up some things? I can drive myself home. My car is there. I just need to grab some clothes and my laptop and stuff," I aksed.

"Yeah, of course. But for now," he smiled, planting a kiss on my forehead, "Go to bed baby sister,"

He exited the room as I pulled down the sheets of my bed and crawled into them. It felt good to be back in my own bed. It felt like home and I could stay in this moment forever. I traced the sheets with my fingers and pulled them closer to me. I felt the warmth of the blankets surround me and sunk into the comfort of them as I drifted into sleep.