Desire 2

Chapter Thirty-Five

I sat still in my room, listening to the sound of my music, hoping if I concentrated on it hard enough that it would absorb me and I could forget all my troubles but life doesn't work that way. I wish it did but it didn't.

Matt and Anna had gone out to dinner after bringing home a multitude of baby supplies to which sat clustered in the living room. I respectfully declined their offer to tag along. It just seemed easier not to be around people anymore. Plus I figured they should get as much alone time as possible before these babies came.

I had to say I was pretty excited for Anna to have the babies. It was all pretty exciting. Seeing Matt get angry when the cribs wouldn't assemble right or seeing Anna snap at Matt for buying the wrong size of clothes all in one day was definitely different than what I'd been around for the past five months.

**

I paused the music and unplugged the cord that connected the phone and the speaker before throwing the phone into the back pocket of my skinny jeans. I matched the with an oversized gray sweater and some black toms. I let my hair hang, the waves trailing down my back.

I tried my absolute best to make myself seem like I had it all together. I put a little extra thought into my hair and my outfit to make it seem like I wasn't the hurt, empty and broken person that I was. I needed to try harder.

I grabbed my bag before stepping out of the house and walking towards my car outside. I figured now was as good of time as ever to get Anna's baby shower gifts.

**

I drove to the nearest target and parked in the first spot I found. The lot was oddly empty for it being 7pm on a Saturday. I strode towards the entrance, taking my time.

The store was cool and smelled of glass cleaner for some odd reason. I grabbed a cart and began pushing it through the store. I scanned some racks of juniors clothes, searching for another way to waste some time. I had my eye on a cute bikini top with pink fray while two guys passed by me.

The tall one wore a dark green tee and some blue jeans while the shorter one wore a black Hollister shirt and some khakis. The tall one hit his friend's shoulder with his elbow before they both glanced in my direction. I looked up for a brief moment, my hair hanging in front of my face, and saw the two smiled at me before I shot back the same action.

I turned the cart, placing the top back on the rack and heading towards the baby section of the store. I glanced over the selection of clothes before deciding on two outfits for each baby and picking out a quick Johnson's set and heading for the check out line.

**

Once I got home, I brought the bags into my room and placed them in the back of my closet, out of sight. I still had more to get but I figured that this was a good start. I don't really know what made Anna decide to have a baby shower at eight and a half months pregnant but whatever.

Matt and Anna still weren't home from what I could tell and I decided to waste some more time watching tv. I clicked the tv on and heard the sound of Ryan Gosling's voice. Crazy Stupid Love played on the tv as I felt my eyes swell up. I fought the tears from leaving my eyes and headed to my dresser, opening a drawer and pulling out a hoodies and some sweats before entering the bathroom. I started the shower and adjusted my clothes, my eyes red from the crying that didn't seem to be able to stop. I looked down to see a old trukfit hoodie in my hands. I pulled the hoodie up to my chest before throwing it across the bathroom, landing on the floor. I leant against the wall, sliding down until I found the floor. I sat against the bathroom wall for an uncountable amount of hours before stepping into the shower and finishing my awful night.