Desire 2

Chapter Forty-Eight

I left as soon as I got out of Drew's house and drove home as fast as I possibly could. I got home at six in the evening. Anna and Matt had already left for pizza and I was alone in this big house. I was sitting on my bed, watching an old episode of Friends when I remembered that Austin had called. I quickly picked up my phone and called him back. 

"Hey," he answered. 

"Hi," I began, "Did you call me?" 

"Yeah! I wanted to ask if you wanted to come over for dinner?" 

"Right now?" I asked. 

"Yeah. I mean it's late and all but we can cook together. It'll be fun," 

I smiled at the suggestion and thought about the offer before I agreed. 

"Okay, well, I'll see you soon then," he laughed before we both hung up the phone. 

** 

I knocked on the door to Austin's apartment before he quickly opened it. 

"Hi," he smiled, "come in," 

I stepped into the familiar apartment to which I once was so comfortable in. Now it just felt odd, like something was off. I started towards the island in the kitchen and placed my bag down on top of it before turning back to face him. 

"You look great," he smiled. 

"Thanks," I giggled, "So do you," 

"Awh thanks," he laughed before beginning towards me. 

I felt his hand against my wrist as he stood in front of me. 

"I'm really glad that you came. After you didn't answer, I thought you wouldn't of," 

The thought of Drew and I's bodies pressed together as Austin patiently waited for me to answer the phone sent my stomach into whirls. The guilt I felt was unreal. That was when it hit me. I had always been someone who had led people on. I led Zach on while Austin was on the other end, being the one I really wanted. Only difference was now, I had no idea who I wanted. At some points, I knew I wanted Drew. He had never left me or hurt me. Our relationship was completely ordinary and a typical college romance. But Austin, our relationship was extrodinary and unique and dangerous all at the same time. It was like seeing a fire. And that urge to walk away because you know it's the better decision was Drew. He had his life together and he knew what he wanted out of it. He was the safe decision to make. But Austin was that urge to go and touch the flames because you knew you were going to end up hurt but you loved the feeling it gave you and the way it made you feel. 

"Yeah, about that," I began, making the split second decision to tell him that I was with Drew. 

"What is it?" 

"I was on campus," I began, "I was getting some of my things and I kind of ran into Drew," 

His expression fell flat as hurt filled his eyes. 

"Austin," 

"No. It's fine. I mean it's not like we're together or anything," he spat, his grip falling from my hand. 

"Will you just listen to me please? I'm sorry that I-," 

"You're sorry for what? Feeling a certain way about him? Cam, you can't apologize for that," he spoke. 

"I'm sorry that I keep hurting you," I muttered before he stepped towards me. 

He held my face in his hands, pulling my forehead to meet his. I moved my hands to his back, gripping onto the back of his shirt. 

"I hurt you. I started all of this in the first place. All of this is my fault, baby," 

 I felt tears emerge in my eyes as I stared up at him, seeing how he honestly blamed himself for all of this. 

"Austin, no. This isn't your fault. This is all just one big mess," I stated, holding my head in my hands, tears crashing onto them. 

"Hey, hey," he began, peeling my hands from my face, "Life's a big mess. The point of life is to find the good inside all of the chaos," 

He pulled my head against his chest before wrapping his arms gently around my neck. I moved my hands behind his back, holding on as tight as I could. 

"Let's forget about all of this for a little while. We can order chinese instead and we'll watch a movie. How does that sound?" he suggested, his eyes suddenly gleaming. 

"That sounds like a date," I laughed up at him. 

"Well, I mean I guess," He smirked before stepping towards the tv and grabbing Crazy Stupid Love 

** 

I awoke to the sound of a ringing. A loud, annoying ringing. I lay on top of Austin, my head and arm thrown across his chest. I leant up, realizing that we had fallen asleep after finishing Crazy Stupid Love. I heard him grunt beneath me as leant up, searchng for my phone, which happened to be on the coffee table. It was Matt. 

"Yeah," I answered. 

"First of all, where the hell are you? It's 3am. Second of all, Anna just went into labor and we're at the hospital now and we really want you here,"

I shot up from the couch, throwing on my shoes as I spoke. 

"I'm on my way right now," I hung up the phone as Austin watched me hustle around the kitchen, reaching for my bag. 

"What's wrong?" He spoke, his voice deep and raspy. 

"Anna just went into labor and my brother is a mess. He's at the hospital right now," 

"Wait, since when is Anna pregnant?" he asked, obviously shocked. 

"About nine months ago," I laughed. 

"Do you need me to come with you?" He asked, his expression serious. 

"You can if you want to," I smiled before he stood, grabbed his keys and moved towards the door.