Desire 2

Chapter Thirty-Two

I woke up around ten the next morning to the smell of coffee and syrup. I laid still, listening to the sound of rain beating on my window before stretching my arms out and kicking the blankets off of my body. I sat up, pulling on the chain of my bedside lamp and gathered me hair into a messy bun and headed for the kitchen.

I stepped out of the doorway to the sight of Drew sitting on the couch, clutching a cup of coffee. I strode past the living room and into the kitchen, quick glancing at the fridge remembering the night Zach found out about Austin and I. I pulled a cup out of the cabinet and poured the coffee. I was just in the process of retrieving the cream and sugar from the fridge when Matt came into the kitchen.

"Hey," he began, "how you holding up?"

I took a deep breath, thinking about the question before actually answering it.

"I feel good and strong and free and like I could take on the whole entire world but at the same point, I feel like I may involuntarily burst into tears at any given moment,"

He gave me a sincere look before stepping towards me and placing his cup down besides me and wrapping his arms around the back of my neck.

"Which one do you wants me to beat up first?" He stated, still holding me in his embrace.

"I'm fine, Matt," I laughed, pulling away from him.

"You know, you don't have to get your stuff today,"

"I need to. I can't live without my laptop one more day," I joked,

I smiled at him before he nodded and left the room. I wasn't prepared for the fact that I might be seeing Drew today. I wasn't prepared to see him and speak to him. It wasn't as much that I was angry at him but I was afraid that the moment I saw him, I would collapse into his arms and forgive him. And I didn't want that. I didn't need that.

***

Matt had dropped me off about an hour and a half after I woke up and as I walked though the almost empty campus, I couldn't help but reminisce in all the memories.

I made it to my dorm building, pushing the door to the rooms open before making my way through the walls and past dorms until I reached mine. I pulled the key out of my pocket and pushed it into the lock, before Drew appeared behind me.

"Drew!" I shouted, startled.

"Cam," he began, "baby,"

He leaned his body closer onto mine as I fell back on the door. His breath smelt of hard liquor and his eyes were bloodshot.

I took a deep breath, looking into his eyes as he licked his lips before pushing them to mine.

He pushed his hand on the doorknob, us falling back into the room before he almost slammed it shut.

I felt his hands travel into the back I my shirt, finding their way to my hate back before grabbing for my thighs and lifting me onto the desk as I reached for his arms.

"Drew," I began, my voice shaky knowing that my biggest fear was happening.

He sighed before pressing his lips to mine again and reaching for the bottom of my shirt before lifting it up over my head.

"No, Drew," I whispered, his lips pressed to my neck.

"Drew we can't do this," I continued, his lips moving down to my shoulder and his hands pulling me closer around his waist.

I pushed his body off of mine, his arms stratiling the sides of my body before taking a deep breath and backing away from me.

"I don't what you want, Cam," he laughed, "I'm sorry for the thing with Isla but it's in the past now and it's not going to happen again. I promise you that,"

"But that's not the point. It happened Drew and you know that I've been hurt. Why would you see her in the first place? What was so important?"

"She called me and wanted to catch up. That's all it was," he stated as I pulled my shirt back over my head.

"It wasn't gonna be just catching up. I think you know that,"

"Okay. So maybe I did. I'm sorry but the one good thing that came out of that kiss," he paused, "was that I realized in that moment, I didn't want to ever kiss anyone else besides you,"

I felt the tears swell up in my eyes at his words. I stared straight at him before sliding off of the table and grabbing a bag from underneath it.

"Where are you going?" He asked, suddenly panicked.

"I am gonna stay with my brother over break because you know his girlfriend is having the babies soon and he need and-"

"And you don't want to be around me," he stated.

"I just want time," I sighed in annoyance, throwing down a shirt into the bag, "I have been through so much in the past 24 hours and I deserve some time, dammit,"

"Time to run back to Austin?"

"This has nothing to do with him or with you. This is about me and being so dependent on guys and not being able to be happy without one. I'm not happy with the person that I am, Drew! I don't want to be this person who needs someone. And I want to be happy with who I am and I'm not!"

"Well," he stated, "I hope you find that happiness you are searching for but just remember who was here for you and who wasn't," he shot, slamming the door behind him as he left.