Gazing at the Past, Looking for the Future

Chapter XXXVI: New Everything

~Diana’s Point of View~

It’s been two weeks since I’ve came to New York and I am becoming more and more immune to whatever it around me. Yes, I have been cutting almost every night and I have been avoiding meals and getting rid of them whenever I can, but I just don’t care what anyone is saying. Mum bought me an American mobile number and the first (and only) person I gave it to was my dad, Jean. I ring him almost every night and occasionally he hands the phone to Claire, who always seems happy to chat with me.

I haven’t gone outside much since I went shopping with Derek. It was hectic in the city, much more crowded than London. There were so many people, always rushing. I had to wear my hoodie all the time along with my sunglasses, because there were many girls still exasperated about the One Direction concert, and of course – mine, in Madison Square Garden.

I tucked the violin well under my bed where the skirt hid it from sight and temptation.

“Di?” Mum asked and knocked on the door. “Are you ready?” today was the first day of “high school”. I am going to be a “senior”. Americans and their terms for things…

“I’ll be out in a minute.” I replied and she agreed. I walked over to the bathroom and examined my attire for the day; blue skinny jeans, grey shirt, another black shirt over it, and a blue jumper. Yes, it was the jumper Niall bought me for my birthday. I may be mad at the lads… no, not “lads”… I thought. Nevertheless, I may be mad at them, but Niall was with me when this whole mess happened, so he hadn’t done anything. Actually, he was the one to actually reason with me. Oh Niall… I broke my promise, but so did you… before I changed my number, I texted him one last time, asking him to ring me back and text me, but he hasn’t. I tried to chat with him on Twitter, but he doesn’t check his mailbox anymore. Twitter has been a dark black hole for me, since I get carried away with tears and fury as I read through the tweets of fans that miss me on stage. “Diana” was being released as a single in the next month or so and I was asked to be on the red carpet with the… Liam’s mates, but I refused and said I was too busy.

I pulled a light blue beanie over my braided hair and exited the bathroom.

“You look lovely, darling.” Mum said and handed me a plate with toast, eggs, and two stripes of bacon. “There’s some orange juice, if you’d like.”

“I’ll just make myself some tea, Mum. Thanks.” I walked over to the pot and boiled some water. Whilst Mum wasn’t looking, I shoved the bacon to the bin under the sink and crumbled the toast. I became quite professional at hiding food, and making the bread crumble on the plate made it seem like I ate it, when really, I only took about two whole bites. “Do you want some more?”

“No, thanks.” I replied and blew across the surface of the steaming tea. “So how am I going to school? Is there a yellow bus like in the films?” she laughed and shook her head.

“Derek thought you might want your own car…” she threw car keys at me and I caught them quickly, examining the Toyota sign on the electric remote. “It’s not very fancy like the one you had back in London, but I think that’ll do.”

“I love it. Thanks Mum.” I said, still without expression, though I did try to curve my lips a bit for a pathetic excuse of a smile. However, Mum seemed to greatly appreciate the little effort I made.

“Just be careful on the roads, they’re a bit icy here.” She smiled. I finished up my tea and walked over to her to give her a hug. “I don’t want you to get pulled over, so notice you’re driving on the right side and if an officer pulls you over, don’t get out of the car and –“

“Mum, I’ll manage. Thank you.” I cut her off with a broken smile. Her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets to the view of my smile, since it was the most I smiled in a long, long time.