French Benefits

03/ Something I Can Never Have

* DISCLAIMER: Contains explicit language, drug use, violent references, sexual content.

January 2, 2001

Well, we did it! We've released our third album and we officially go on tour with Slipknot in two weeks. To say I'm excited just doesn't cut it. Since I found out about a month ago that we'd be touring with them, I'd dug really deep into their history.

They have released one album so far – it's extremely heavy and dark. The drums are the most complex I've ever heard and the lyrics are out of this world. I can't wait to meet the guys behind this music. They must be insane to write stuff like this. Not to mention there are nine of them in the band which to me just seems overdone but they seem to make it work. They truly haven't done very much yet; it seems their career is just starting to kick off.

It makes me miss those days. The beginning where nothing can really get you down. The upcoming excitement that thousands of strangers love you is fucking awesome. It seemed to fade pretty quickly though. The more people that love your band, the bigger your name comes; but not really making you feel better. Life gets hard in these times. Forget any kind of privacy or thinking someone would ever be interested in you for you. It's all money from here-out. Everyone wants a payout.

Getting back on subject, apparently the lead singer and rhythm guitarist of Slipknot are in another band called Stone Sour. I hadn't seen what any of the guys look like without masks but I know their names from the CD case. From what I have seen, though, the two from Stone Sour are pretty damn fine men. This seems like it's gonna be a good ass tour. Might even give 1995 a good run for its money. But we shall see in due time.

◊◊◊

Tuesday · January 16, 2001 · Seattle, Washington

Today is the official first day of our tour. I've been so stoked to meet the guys of Slipknot and get this shit started. Not to mention I miss being on the road. It's been some of the best times of my life so far.

I'll never forget getting high with Peter Steele of Type O Negative and taking some random piece of pipe we found behind the venue and smashing a few cars' windshields in. We had to pay a lot for that shit and we were lucky that we didn't get locked up. I've had some crazy ass good times in the past few years and I can't wait to make more memories.

We're currently sitting in a bar located in the middle of Seattle, Washington. Our tour kicks off here and we'll travel most of the United States before we head over to the U.K. and we'll finish back here in the U.S. for the few last dates.

We decided to meet the guys here and hang out for a bit before we get on our bus. We always try to make friends with the bands we tour with. Because without friends, what the hell is there?

I'm currently dancing with Mandy until we hear whistles from afar. I look over to see a few men staring at us and clapping, cheering us on. I smirk to them and decide to keep it up. Mandy seemed to have the same idea so we started dancing more intimately.

When the song was over we went over to meet everyone. I saw that Hanna was already talking to a short dude with long, black hair and Sam was talking to a medium-build guy with long, straight hair pulled back in a ponytail.

"Well, well. Looks like we hit the fucking jackpot. I was expecting you guys to be kinda hot, but daaamn." I replied, taking in everyone's appearance. They were all pretty good looking.