French Benefits

08/ All I Want

* DISCLAIMER: Contains explicit language, drug use, violent references, sexual content.

[ SID'S P.O.V ]

I finally got everything in life that I've ever wanted. A successful career doing what I love, great friends that I consider family, and Alice. Alice fucking Morgana.

I've cared about her deeply since we first met. I'd had a crush on her just from seeing her on television but I never expected to fall in love with her when we met. The whole time that we've been on tour together has been tough. She doesn't open herself up to just anyone and when she slept with Jim I just knew I'd never have a chance in hell.

My feelings intensified greatly when I had to kiss her as we played truth or dare that night. I told her how I felt then and she let me know that she'd never feel the same. Even though I felt defeated I knew I couldn't give up.

You don't give up on people that you love. I didn't really know that I loved her until the guys sat me down and told me that I had to go for it; that I couldn't give up on her. They opened me up and read me like a fucking book. Realization hit hard the next time I saw her after that talk.

She's everything to me and I'd do anything to call her mine. I'm not sure what was different about her tonight, but I just went for it. Thank fucking shit I did, too.

This has been the most incredible night of my life and after this I know it's going to be even more painful to not be able to have her, but I'm not allowing myself to dwell on that thought right now.

We lay together after I spent hours making love to her. I don't classify that sex - it was a lot more than just that for me. Whether or not she realizes that, I don't know. It doesn't seem like anyone has ever truly appreciated her like that before. I want her to feel just how beautiful and perfect she truly is.

I was expecting to get kicked out, but she let me wrap her in my arms. She stayed there, rubbing her slightly calloused hand on my chest as we kissed each other for what felt like hours.

After a while I felt her start to fall asleep. I kissed her cheek and looked at her beautiful features. I continued rubbing her back softly as I admired her face. She seemed to be peacefully sleeping and I smiled, thinking how lucky I am.

"I love you, Ali." I mumbled.

"Mmmhm,"escaped from her lips and I froze. Was she not asleep? My heart startedpounding in my chest but she never moved or changed her position so I guess shewas. I sighed and tried to cease my thoughts to allow myself to sleep..