Our Love Goes On and On

Cause and Effect

"Don't you think it's a little weird having people with cameras following you around?" Phil asked me.

"They're not following me, they're following Roman and Dean and Seth and...not me."

"But you're really not a camera type of person--"

"Excuse me?"

"You start laughing uncontrollably, don't get mad at me!" he chuckled, "It's so cute."

"You know what else is cute? Babies!"

"Oh, God," he rolled his eyes as we continued to walk through the airport to our plane, "you're still hung up on that?"

"How could you not tell me you're having a baby?! And it's a boy! Little Philly!"

"Okay, she called me that once, don't hold it against me."

We finally got to our gate and sat down, "You're having a baby, Phil, best friends tell each other stuff like that. If I was having a baby--"

"I'd cuss you out because that means you got down and dirty with the man you're supposed to hate right now."

I glared at him, "I would still tell you."

"Whatever."

"How does it feel to have a baby boy on the way?"

"It doesn't feel real yet, that's why I didn't say anything. She's not showing yet, so it's not like I can feel anything or see anything."

I knew the feeling. When I was pregnant with London, it was the exact same way.

"It'll be real sooner or later."

Our plane was called and London ran towards Roman so she could sit next to him. She hadn't seem him in three weeks, so I knew she missed him. I missed him too, but some things just weren't forgivable.

"Roman always wanted a boy." we got up and started walking towards the plane, "When I told him I was pregnant with London, he just couldn't seem to process it. That was his chance to have his boy...but it was a girl. I could see it in his face that he was just happy to have a healthy baby, so he was fine."

"What about with Penny?"

"I could see the disappointment. He wanted Penny to be a boy so badly, and I couldn't give that to him."

"It's not like you could decide what the gender was. You can't blame yourself for that."

"I wanted to give him that baby boy, though." we sat down in our seats and Amy laid her head on his shoulder, "I really wanted to give him one thing he asked me for...and I couldn't come through."

"If you think about it, it's sort of his fault that the male egg wasn't--"

"No, no, no, stop right there, we're not talking about this anymore."

We laughed a bit more until the plane took off.

I didn't get any sleep last night. After the dinner with everyone and seeing Roman, I stayed up, laying in bed, wondering what to do next. Was I mad? Yeah. Was I sad? Yeah. Did I want to talk to him? Yeah. But I didn't need to start the conversation. It needed to be him.

I fell asleep with Penny in my arms on the entire plane ride there. It was really early in the morning, about six o'clock when the plane took off and almost ten when it landed.

There were rental cars ready for us at the airport and everyone divided into their separate cars.

It was my family left, so I guessed everyone decided to let me ride in the car with a cheater.