Should I go? Should I stay? [VIXX LEO/ Jung Taekwoon Fanfic]

Chapter 62| How's Life? Pt2

Taekwoon's POV

Living in a large house without my family, it can't get more depressing than that. It feels like I've lost everything. Even though I have talked to my son multiple times and have gotten photos of his growth, it must've felt different seeing it in real life in the flesh.

Work is now just work. I don't know if I love it anymore. The real Starlights doesn't know what exactly happen but out of the safety of everyone, everything was deactivated from the fans except from the fan cafe.

If I have protected them better, if we could've made the punishment more stronger. Yana wouldn't have left with Jisung. The only things I could be grateful for is that majority of the family are alive and well, including the VIXX members and especially Yana and Jisung.

Straight after the funeral, straight after Yana and my son left, I don't know if I am myself anymore. I know I have caused worry to everyone, the CEO suggest that we just cancel all vixx's and my own schedules but that would seem very selfish of me. Everyone knows that I have returned being the Leo from debut, the trust was even though the most loyal fan says they won't do such a thing. "Hyung do you want to move in with us again??"

"I don't know, I put so much effort into this place," we all sat in a circle during our dance practice. "I know, I mean by sleeping with us from time to time or we'll go there to sleep with you. Depending on our schedule we sleep in which place is closest," said Hyuk.

"That sounds good," these brothers of mine are people whom I'll shall cherish for the rest of my life, they even experienced something horrifying they are the most resilient group of men I know. I don't know how or why other groups can't have a bond like this, but I guess I am really lucky in this aspect. They always make sure that I am okay and I should take it easy, 'I'm sorry for holding you guys back."

What I have done in the past life to deserve this???

Hakyeon's POV

Like with Beautiful Lair, within its lyrics reveal deep and emotion meaning  whether it may be happy or sad. But the sacrifice is shown by putting on a mask just to say that they're okay. Taekwoon only opened up to me how he really feels since he doesn't want to burden the rest of the members putting everyone in jeopardy.

~ Flashback ~

Taekwoon broke down once again as we drove home from the airport, when Yana flew back to Australia with Jisung. Curse Angela Nami and her evil deeds, the person who is no help to us or anyone else. Just a prick whom I wish doom, from hurting the ones I love and cherish. Seeing Taekwoon suffering so much he still tries to cover it but at the end all of the bottled up emotions ruined him completely.

The night came right when Yana left, Taekwoon couldn't manage staying at home by himself before he actually hurts himself, so staying with us at the dorm would be safer. Much safer... None of us were bothered cooking, so delivery was the only option. The members tried to keep Taekwoon happy, he was laughing, giggling and all but all of that was a mask. That day was a rough one, so everyone was out of it after eating and drinking.

After I took my shower, I saw Taekwoon sitting at the lounge room looking at the view of the city. Most likely contemplating. "Taekwoon-ah aren't you going to sleep?" He sighed, I knew the answer already but I wanted to hear it from Taekwoon himself. "I can't... I know that I have you guys but it feels like everything has been taken from me."

I also know for the fact that he is not mad at Yana, she just wants to protect Jisung from Angela and potential people like her. Taekwoon faced me and his eyes were red again, "I know that it will be hard to get over this, your son is now hours away from you. But remember the promises that you made to each other? Remember the time when you were the one who had to move away? Yana would be feel just as bad or even worse, but she is resilient because Jisung is the one keeping her from going."

"What happen if Jisung wasn't born or never had existed? Yana would've just ended the whole relationship with you. But Jisung is the connection between you two so she couldn't cut you off."

Taekwoon knew I had a point, everything would be over if weren't for Jisung, "I can't believe that bitch, would actually take someones life... I feel bad that a so called fan would pull the trigger." A saseang is not a fan, but a stalker and a criminal. The one who placed cameras who tried wrecking Yana's teaching career, the one who installed cameras within their premises and also pulled the trigger, murdering her father. Yeah that's a fan right there.

"But you're right, I should be thankful that Yana and Jisung are alive and in a much more safer place."

"I know getting past the hump will be difficult, but at least you have time from the CEO and Yana is updating you about Jisung... Just remember that other people have it worse, especially when it comes to children." Taekewoon seemed a little better as I talked to him more.

"Thank you Hakyeon-ah, I don't know to repay you." Taekwoon stood up and gave me a hug.

"It's okay, let's go to sleep now."

~ End of Flashback ~

Taekwoon's POV

The CEO insisted that I took a break and spent more time with my family. So informing the vixx members, I told them that I won't be with them for a while, but I will occasionally chat with them online whenever I can. "Have you talked to Yana personally yet?" My noona asked. "No, she's teaching again so it would be with her mother and Jisung."

Taekwoon's Sister's POV

I've been chatting to Yana ever since she left, I was never that sister to dislike the relationship, I was the one rooting for them. So it hurts me to see them separated from each other and also not communicating as much.

I know my brother Taekwoon, he tends to cut the relationship once it's done. But with Yana, that's when he kept on going back to her, when they weren't together before. I just knew that he was committed to her and he will just keep on chasing her. It sounds unhealthy when you think about it but when there is a child involved, I see the point of not giving up. But this will be difficult, much more difficult, Yana's mother protective instincts kicked in especially what happened not to long ago. 

"Why are you talking to her?"

"Yes, but I think you still need to give her sometime before you communicate with her personally." After what Yana told me, I feel like what she needs is time for herself. 

"Okay, anything for her... as long she is safe along with Jisung and omma then I will be content." I know Taekwoon too well, he's hurting. 

Taekwoon's POV   

I know that Yana has this resentment towards me since she needs to consider what kinds of feeling she has for me. I can't blame her for that, she spent most of her time waiting for me and all I caused her was trouble. If she was not with me she would've done many things, but she sacrificed them to be with me. 

I'm so selfish. 

I wonder how will my life turn out if I never saw Yana again and just consider her as a high school lover? But I was so sure that she is my soulmate, I was more sure that we are soulmates with the shit was went through. All the more reason to know that Yana is my soulmate ever since we had Jisung together. 

But Noona is right, we are all in the right state of mind to have a proper conversation without things ending in tears. 

All we need is time and I will wait for that right day. 

Anything for Jisung. Love has sacrifices.