Should I go? Should I stay? [VIXX LEO/ Jung Taekwoon Fanfic]

Chapter 63| Desperation

Author's POV

Another year past and Jisung is now in Kindergarten. Of course Taekwoon knows about Jisung and he was emotion and proud that his son is going to school. Yana and Taekwoon occasionally talk to each other but it's not very frequent compared to Jisung and Taekwoon.

"How are you feeling?" The head teacher sat next to me with her arm hugging my shoulder. I look down onto the table and sighed, "I don't know much longer." Jisung is a curious boy who likes finding answers to a variety of things, he's frequently asking when he will meet his father in person for the first time in roughly about five years. "Soon, I feel it." The head teacher is no fortune teller reading about someones luck in the future, but she was very affirmative and would be correct at the end. "We both know that he is a wonderful man and there is a reason why you couldn't let go... yes the worst has happened, yes we've could've dodged the bullet, so many things happened between you two since high school and why are you giving up? Don't you think that you are meant to be after all these years of hardships and trials?"

Yana knew she was right. Very right. It would've ended a long time ago before Jisung, before engagement, before teaching overseas, before he left to go train. But they promised each other at the end that they will find a way to see each other. Yana felt selfish for doing this, if must've made Taekwoon feel really guilty and shameful that he'd let you burst into something unknown. A person who turned cold from the kindhearted person.

It's zero to hundred real quick.

"I did but I guess I was stupid enough to let one person put everything to waste. I don't know if he wants to be with me anymore though."

"I may not have seen him personally, but from what I have heard. Taekwoon wants to be with you, I bet he is being really patient till that day again." I couldn't release those emotions at home since I am around Jisung a lot along with mother. A part of me wants to stay strong and power forward, but the dominating part is wanting me to stop and take a moment, even at the most vulnerable moments. When Yana couldn't dare.

'Mum! Are we going to see Appa soon?'

'Soon.'Yana doesn't know when, will that day ever come? Yana doesn't want to give her son false hope, but she knows that for the father and son bonding they will need to get together in the near future. "The break is nearly here, I think it will be best for you go travel or them traveling here." Yana thanked the head teacher wholeheartedly and gave her a hug. A mother indeed.

Yana's POV

I got into the flow of the school once again, going off to my next class. I swear these juniors are so hyper whilst the seniors I teach are sick of everything, it makes me remember when I was a senior. "Hey miss, who's marking the assessment?" My current seniors students are going through the HSC and they go on full competitive mode nowadays. "Uhmm your year advisor will mark it," I heard them groan since their year advisor is a really harsh marker, "Don't worry guys, the head teacher will double mark as well."

"How did you get through the HSC?" I knew by then that this class will all be about the HSC.

"I had mental breakdowns, I hated myself when I procrastinated and that's when I really started to hate school... but I knew I needed a high atar for this course, so once I came onto year twelve the best thing to do is to have great time management and to always utilise your free period."

"You guys may think that it's boring to just go and study, but there is no secret method to getting top marks but to work hard... look at your student of the year, yes it looks like that person has no social life, but at the end we could see that student doing great things."

I explained to them more about what should they expect soon. I remember the teachers telling me that I will have the best senior year in high school. I didn't believe it at first since the workload was all crammed and everyone wanted to drop out. But I saw the advantages we have when it comes to the relationship among teachers and students. I saw how we all became close as a grade and in our particular friendship groups.

We saw why the teachers are more tense on juniors compared to seniors, I realised how much I hated the juniors when I became a senior. I have to admit, when the teacher is that cool they would drop a few explicit words here and there. Which I have to admit when I have casual conversations with my senior class.

It made me laugh and reminisce when I saw seniors complain about the juniors.

"But the best advice I could give you is to just have fun while it lasts, because once you are out of school you are responsible for you own life and decisions."

"I know that this may be a personal question you don't need to answer it, but what made you move?"

There are kpop fans here in this school and of course they are familiar with me as the person who teaches and was in a relationship with Taekwoon, but I am glad that they are all respectable with the questions they ask and keep the privacy compared to what has happened over there.  "I wanted to experience the school system in Korea since I was raised here ever since I was a baby. So the deal for me to become permanent here is for me to teach over there for a few years."

"How is it?"

"You know how we can have casual conversations, have our own inside jokes and just swear and laugh whilst we work. There is basically like, I am your teacher, you are my students there is nothing in between. So really is more tense and competitive there while we just chill."

"So I assume that you love it here more?"

I nodded, "Of course, I like having a relationship like this where we could freely speak our minds."

•••

I came home seeing Jisung trying to complete his homework. "How was school?" I sat next to him and he turned towards me. "Good!! I made more friends."

I looked down on his homework book and saw a drawing of him, his grandmother, me and Taekwoon. "The teacher told us to draw our family." Jisung gleefully picked up his sheet and passed it to me. "This is beautiful, I'm proud of you." I gave Jisung a kiss.

"Mum? When can we see Dad?"