Chasing Love. [Fin]

Page 8.

Nahihiya ako sa inasal ko kay Henry kanina. I decided to go straight home after I take a bath. Tutal di naman na masyadong maulan. Oa lang siya. I saw my uniform neatly folded inside his closet.

Imagine how embarassed I was when I saw my undergarments there. Just the thought that he.. Damn! He touched those! I felt as if he touched me there!

Nagiinit ang buong mukha ko na lumabas ng kwarto. Magpapaalam na lang ako sa kanya.

Sinalubong ako ng mabangong amoy ng ulam. That's tinola! Naglaway ako nang maisip ko ang ulam na iyon. It is my all time favorite dish.

Sinundan ko ang amoy at dinala ako nun sa tapat ni Henry. Nagaayos na siya ng hapag. Nakasuot pa ang kulay blue niyang apron.

Tinignan niya ako. Tiim bagang niyang nilapag ang pinggan sa mesa.

"May, if you're going home make sure you fix yourself well. The buttons of your uniform.. Ugh!" Ipinilig niya ang ulo. "Ayusin mo din ang necktie mo."

Tinignan ko ang suot. Ganito naman ako lagi kahit sa school. Di ko kasi talaga sinasagad yung pagkakabutones ng blouse ko. At medyo maluwag sa baba nun ang necktie ko. Wala namang bago.

"I look okay Henry. Ikaw ba ang nagluto? Mukhang masarap!" Masayang umupo ako sa harap niya. Di pa niya ako niyayaya pero kusa akong kumuha ng pagkain at tinikman ko agad ang tinolang niluto niya.

Napakasarap! I have never tasted a dish this good! Kahit mga pagkain sa restaurants.

"Wow! Henry! This is good!" Nakangiti kong sabi sa kanya. He looked pleased with what I said. Well, a weird kind of pleased dahil umangat man ang labi niya para sa isang ngiti ay nanatili pa rin ang lamig sa mga mata niya.

What happened to you? Para kasing wala n siyang rason para makaramdam.

"Are you going to be a chef someday?" Parang tangang tanong ko.

"Yeah. I want to cook. I know food can bring a smile on someone's face. I want that." He stated. It was a simple statement pero pakiramdam ko there's more to it than what I heard.

"Would you be happy if I smile everytime you cook even if it's not for me?" Mahina ang boses kong sabi.

Hindi siya sumagot. Naglagay lang siya ng juice para sa akin. I guess that's his way of saying 'no more questions'. Natahimik ako.

Sabi ko ayaw ko ng alamin pa ang nangyari sa kanya. Kung bakit siya nagkaganito. Pero iba ang sinasabi ng puso ko.

I want to know. I want to help him. I want him to smile again. I want to see the happiness dancing in his eyes again. I want my happy sunflower back.

Tinignan ko siya habang tahimik siyang kumakain sa harap ko. He looked so prim and proper. I don't think my Ilustre was the prim and proper type of guy. He was jolly and playful.

"Ahm.. Can I ask you a question?" He raised a brow at me.

"You already asked a question May."

"Well, I know but.. Ugh!" Tinusok ko ang chicken sa plato ko. "You were called Ilustre before. But your name is Henry Alonzo. Why is that?" Sinubo ko ang piniraso kong chicken.

"That was my surname." He answered after a few seconds. That was his surname? Nalilito ako.

"What do you mean?" Tanong ko bago uminom ng juice.

"That's it May." Tiim bagang nyang sambit. Mariin ang pagsambit sa bawat salitang binitiwan niya.

Halata namang ayaw niyang pagusapan yun pero ginugulo ako ng mga ideya. I wanted to push the subject but I can't push him too much.

This is a sensitive topic for him, I could say. Hindi ko to itutuloy ngayon. Pero susubukan ko ulit sa susunod.

Maybe I should get him drunk? They say drunk people talks a lot unconsciously.

Nah! Bad iyon May! Hindi naman pwedeng pahirapan ko siya just to satisfy my curiosity.

"Henry." I called his attention.

"No more questions May." He said without looking at me.

"You can ask me questions too. If that will make you feel better." I smiled. "But that's not what I am about to say."

Tinaas niya ang paningin para tignan ako. I smiled even more.

"Hindi mo man kayang ngumiti para sa sarili mo ngayon. Ako na muna. I will smile for you, cry for you. I will feel for you." He looked surprised with what I said.

"I don't need that. I can smile." He raised his lips for a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "See?"

"No. Ilustre doesn't smile like that Henry." Tumayo ako sa upuan ko at umikot palapit sa kanya. Iniharap ko ang mukha niya sa akin. Ipinatong ko ang mga hinlalaki ko sa gilid ng mata niya at inilapat ang palad ko sa sentido niya. My fingers brushed his soft hair.

Hinila ko ang mga daliri pataas. It made his eyes chinky.

"You smile like this before. You looked pleased that your eyes turns into slits. Your eyes had happiness dancing in it." Binitawan ko na ang ulo niya pero isinuklay ko sa likod ng buhok niya ang isang kamay ko. Ibinaba ko ang mukha at ibinaon iyon sa ulo niya. Ang isang kamay ko ay nasa balikat lang niya.

He still smell like sunflower! His smell made me nostalgic.

"I don't know why are you like this right now Henry. But, I want to help you. Alam kong sasabihin mong hindi mo kailangan pero ipipilit ko. I want you to be happy Henry. Your happiness is my happiness too." Hinila niya ang kamay ko mula sa batok niya.

Kumapit siya sa batok ko at inalis ako sa ulo niya. He's looking at me intently as if he is reading all of me. As if he can literally see my soul. God! This feeling is overwhelming. Namamawis na ang palad kong hawak pa rin niya.

"I won't accept May. Hindi ko kaya. I am sorry." Malungkot na ngumiti ako sa kanya.

"Henry, you don't need to keep it in. Kung nasasaktan ka, then let it hurt you for awhile. But make sure to stand up again after a hurricane. Remember, every after the rain.. There's always a rainbow." I smiled.

I used his words against him. Hoping that he'll come back to his senses. Ibinaba ko ang mukha ko sa kanya. I felt him hold his breath. Hinalikan ko ang tuktok ng matangos niyang ilong.

Muli akong ngumiti ng maluwag.

"Wag kang magalala. Hinding hindi kita iiwan unless it's you who'd leave. Dito lang ako lagi Henry."