Palpitations in Love

Dreaming

Subconscious vivid wishes
Of times past and present
Brainwaves project like satellite dishes
Waking with questions semi-pleasant

Child like wonder dimming fast
As I slide into "adulthood"
Wanting those good times to last
But I don't think they ever could

Who am I to say what's right
I'm just a star struck kid
With a voice of little might
But baby I can't keep it all hid

Something stirs subtly within
I can't put to any decent pace
For I don't think I can truly win
Not when I'm brung back to this place

Chances come and long gone
Dreams punishing hesitations
Write down another coping song
To deal with the missed relations

No fancy get ups or gags
Just twisted messages galore
I'm searching for something to grab
Slipping through fingers like before

Time seems to be my enemy
Laughing back as it races by
Wearing down my will wearily
I imagine what if and sigh

Best not to dwell in the past too much
It's better to keep trudging ahead
My brain spits it up like infant lunch
Stopping me in my tracks dead

Do I have to be the one to capitalize
You've got the time as well
Then I begin to realize
My wants aren't yours as far as I can tell.

Back to bed to be brain berated
I can't control these images I have
Waking up with feelings inflated
Deadly as carcinogen filled drags

Night time torrents rise and fall
Leaving wakes of repressed feeling
I'm stuck in the center of it all
Sent back a few steps in healing

Boys and girls playing at war
While the generals sit aside
All I want is nothing more
Then to be in your heart crystallized

I've left it all mostly unspoken
You never knew what I had thought
But dreams again have awoken
The wanting I left unsought

Back at this point of wondering
If it's you or her I seek
Leaving my heart sundering
Changes have come very meek

Midnight crushes and heartaches
Still riddle holes in my mind
Boy or man it slowly breaks
Longing to press and hold rewind

Second chances seem rare
When you never got a first
But call and I'll try to be there
Be it for the better or the worst