Happier {S.M.}

thirty five

Becca's POV

"Shawn! We have the calmest baby in the world," I say rocking her to sleep. She's gotten so big. Almost 12 months. I look down at her and then up to Shawn, a faint smile spreading across my face.

I was so lucky things turned out the way they did. "Would you wanna maybe put her down? Yanno so we could have a little time." He whispers kissing Sydney's forehead. I smile and nodded as we walked into her nursery.

"She's so peaceful," I say and Shawn nods. "She looks just like you, when you were little of course." He laughs moving my hair out of my face. I turn to him and softly kiss his lips but knowing Shawn, he wants more.

His hands travel down to my waist as he takes over our kiss which leaves me wanting more. "Shawn, somewhere else," I pull away and seconds later Shawn's dragging me to our room.

You could probably guess what was about to happen. "You're so beautiful," he tells me as I look up at him. "You're lucky my sister is with my mom."

"Yes I am," he says throwing us both on the bed before he tackles me with kisses.

****

"Shawn, get the door!" Jade screams and I laugh. "That was funny, I do that to him all the time."

"Yeah, I know." She laughs looking back down at all those magazines and props.

We are planning my wedding.

"This! We need this there!" She says showing me a center piece and I smile at her and nod; this is going to be great.

"It's honestly crazy how alike we are." I tell her and she laughs, moving her brown hair away from her face. "I'm happy I found you, I hope you never leave." I then say and she smiles looking up at me.

Honestly though, she deserves the world. She's so funny and genuine and I don't know what I'd do without her ever since she came along.

"So, you planning on inviting any of your friends to come party?" I ask her and her cheeks flush. "Ummm, there's this one boy," she starts and then Brian walks in.

"Oh no- no boys." He says and I throw a pillow at him. "Get out, this is sister talk!" I tell him and he makes a face walking away.

"He's in my English class, he compliments my writing all the time. But I think he likes another girl." She finishes looking at the door.

"How is school by the way? Do people-"

"Stare? Yeah. I'm the kid from the foster home." She shrugs looking down. "You're so much more than that, Jade."

"Yeah! I'm almost Shawn Mendes' sister in law too," her sarcasm is just like mine, proud.

"Okay, listen to me. You are strong and beautiful. I know you're probably still adjusting and have feelings for some boy who probably doesn't even deserve you," I start and she laughs looking up at me. "If there's anything I've learned- it's that you should never resort to someone who can't handle your power."

"No man defines who I am, Shawn told me that." She says and I nod my head, "he's right."

***

flashback

Shawn's POV

"Shawn, just wait for me, okay?" Becca breathes out moving closer to me, putting a hand on my chest to try to stop me.  "Okay." I look down at her and smile as her hand was still on my chest, right next to my heart. I had to tell her what she wanted to hear.

But she knows I'm leaving and how nothing will ever be the same. My body was pressed up against a locker and my eyes were entirely on her, no one else in these busy hallways.

Just me and Becca.

There were tears forming in her eyes and now I'm thinking back to every night where we just laid on my bed for hours on end, and whenever I looked into her eyes I never thought I'd ever say goodbye.

"Please stay." Her voice crumbles and she's fighting the tears, almost falling in her tracks as she dives into my chest as she tries not to cry.

"It's only for a while, baby, I promise." I tell her lifting up her chin, her tears were visible and she just looked so vulnerable. It's all because of me.

"Shawn, we're 16. You can't leave me." She shakes my body, she might be weak but she's strong. I breathe out as I watch her try to stand her ground. We have so much left and I'm just leaving.

"I won't leave you- I won't leave you-Becca." I grab her whole body and engulf her into a hug.

We just seem to fit together. It's always been like this, we are made for each other. This is where we belong, in each other's arms. I hold her tighter she starts to whimper.

"Becca, I'm sorry but I have to go." I say as she's still attached to me. She doesn't want to let go either.

I know we're only 16 but I know I'm in love with her. I can't love her back, this will destroy her. I need to leave now so she can move on and become the greatest she can be.

I'll always love her, I'll always look for her in every person I meet. I'll always write my music about her and I'll always remember the way she made me feel.

Happier.

I'm happier when I'm around her but I have to go. I'm strong and appreciative around her. I'm alive when I'm around her and I don't know if she'll ever truly know how much she's meant to me.

Because I'm leaving.

And I don't want her to wait for me. Someone will give her all she wants and all she needs. One day she'll see I never meant to her hurt. One day she'll realize that it couldn't have been me.

"I'll call you when I get there. Okay?" We part from the hug and she nods sniffling. "I love you," she tells me and I nod before I kiss her for the last time before letting go from her hand and leaving the school.

On to greater things now, I guess.

"Yeah, I left her, we were 16. I did come back for a couple months." I look up at Jade, she was fiddling with her bracelets as we sat on the couch, waiting for the next episode of Stranger Things to come on.

"What happened after that?"

"We just pretended nothing happened and we were still Shawn and Becca." I tell her, thinking back. "But then-"

"God, love is powerful, huh?"

"We always came back to each other." I say and she smiles. "I want that, I mean I'm only 15, but I can't wait till my life begins." Jade giggles, jumping into my arms and I give her the biggest hug, she needs it.

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