Happier {S.M.}

thirty two

*way back when I never published this it was supposed to be in like chapter 2 or something when Shawn and Becca weren't friends but kept thinking of each other. And it's so bad I'm like wow my old writing suckssss. But imma post this anyway bc the feels duhh. Ha ha ha I'm evil.*

Shawn's POV

"I just think back to when I was starting to get popular and I ignored Becca all the time, it sucked honestly." I tell Bree, she sighs into the phone and asks what she can do to help.

"There's nothing we can do, she'll never forgive me. I'll call you back later, I gotta go shoot this little video for the song I'm releasing tonight from the new album, Ruin."

"Okay, I can't wait to hear it on my phone. I loved when you sang that for me. It's very different and I have a feeling that was about Rebecca." She says with a chuckle and I sigh.

"Yeah it was, the whole album practically is. I gotta go, I'll talk to you tomorrow." I tell her as I walk inside Madison Square Garden in New York City with Andrew, Ian and Geoff. "I'll see you, Mendes. Have a good one." She hangs up.

Holy shit, I have a show here in a few months. That's actually insane, how did this all happen? I was just some kid from a shitty town, writing about how shitty I treated the girl who loved me.

And now I'm famous, this shits crazy. I'm so thankful for all of this though. If it wasn't for Becca's support at the beginning I wouldn't have been here.

No matter what I do, she's always there for me. I know she is. I caused her this sadness and I regret every second of it. It's so quiet here and I feel so cold without her.

She's all I think about and it's quite annoying. It's like she's in me, I'm sure she's changed so I guess I'm just hung up on some memories.

I definitely changed.

About an hour later I'm in an interview and they're asking me the lyrics from each song that mean the most on the new album and I'm at a loss of words. I know Becca watches my stuff still, Brian tells me. She's a fangirl, I used to take her to those 1D and 5 Seconds Of Summer concerts, watching her glow in happiness the whole time because she's with the people who have saved her life, just for one night.

That's crazy people feel that way about me.

What I have with my fans is truly different and genuine. It's a person to person relationship, they know me and I know them.

We are in this together, April always said that as she always defended her favorite artists.

"Ruin- I'm not tryna ruin your happiness at all, but darling don't you know that I'm the only one." I say looking at all the interviewers. They nod their heads and smile. "What's the next song you're releasing?"

"Three Empty Words and Mercy,"

"The titles are leaving me in goosebumps." A girl says and I laugh. "These aren't the deepest lyrics of the songs but I guess it puts the point out there."

"Who broke your heart, Mendes!"

"Nah, I broke her heart." I shrug and continue talking about the lyrics.

"Mercy- Even though you don't mean to hurt me, you keep tearing me apart.

Treat You Better- Take my hand, we'll be fine. I promise I won't let you down.