LIANNE
I was about to hop in to the car with Dexter when I noticed that someone was following me. I look back and saw Michael rushing towards us.
"Sakay na," aya ni Dexter at inalalayan pa ako. Pero napansin niyang natigilan ako at tumingin din sa direksyon kung saan ako nakatingin. Mayamaya pa nga ay tumigil si Michael sa pagtakbo at humarap sa amin.
"P--wede ba kiang maka-usap?" he said, catching up for his breath. Ano naman ang pag-uusapan namin?
"N'andito ka rin ba para sisihin ako sa nangyayari?" I asked and bowed myself. I know he's Also affected with what happened.
"Mauna na ako sa loob, sumunod ka na lang pagkatapos n'yo mag-usap," paalam ni Dexter para bigyan kami ng privacy. Naiwan naman kaming dalawa ni Michael. Bahagya akong lumayo sa kotse para hindi marinig din Dexter ang pag-uusapan namin at sumunod naman si Michael sa akin.
"Alam mong hindi kita kayang sisihin kung ano man ang nangyari."
"Hindi ka galit sa akin?" nagtatakang tanong ko. Akala ko tulad ni Matina magagalit din siya.
He furrowed his eyebrows and with a very cool expression he walked closer to me. "Why would I? Wala ka namang kasalanan."
It nice to know that there's someone who believe in you. 'Yong taong hindi ka sisihin sa kasalanan mo.
"Alam ko naman na hindi mo gusto 'yong nangyari." He walked another step towards me. "Pagpasensyahan mo lang si Matina, masyado lang siyang nag-aalala para kay Andrew."
"Naiintindihan ko naman kung magagalit sya. Kasalanan ko lahat kung hindi ko ginawa 'yong ginawa ko hindi sila mag-aaway, hindi pupunta si Matina sa bar at hindi mabubog si Andrew," I answered without looking at him. Kasalanan ko naman talaga. I deserve this kind of treatment from Matina. I can't blame her kung magagalit siya dahil kasalanan ko. I feel the tears threatening to fall again. I blinked many time to prevent it. Napansin naman agad iyon ni Michael. May kinuha siya sa bulsa niya at binigay iyon sa akin.
"Sige lang umiyak ka lang,"he said and handed me the handkerchief. "Mas maganda kung mailalabas mo 'yong sakit," he continued and leaned my head to his shoulder.
I followed what he said at umiyak sa dibdib niya. It helps me feel better, tama siya mas maganda na umiyak ako para ilabas ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. Kumalas ako sa kanya when I got back to my senses at inabot ang panyo pabalik sa kanya. For a second, no one talk, we just remain the silence. But after awhile nagsalita ulit siya. "Maybe you tough outside, You have a very strong personality. But I know deep inside you're just like any other girl—fragile and needs to be kept."
Napatingala ako sa kanya nang sabihin niya 'yon. Ano ang ibig niyang sabihin? Na kailangan ko ng keeper at siya 'yon? Naalala ko tuloy 'yong sinabi niya sa akin na gusto niya ako.
"Umamin ka nga sa akin, utos lang 'yon sa'yo ni Andrew 'di ba?"
"What are you saying?" he answered and trying to act innocent.
"Stop playing stupid I know that you knew what I'm talking about," I answered and glared at him causing him to smirk.
"You knew it?" may ngiti pa rin sa labing tanong niya.
"Of course I never believe in your stupid excuse!" totoo naman hindi ako naniwala na ginawa niya 'yon dahil gusto niya ako. Nagkakapagtaka naman 'di ba? Out of nowhere bigla niya akong ii-stalk then telling me that he's doing that because he likes me? How pathetic! What a lame excuse, that's the most doubtful excuse I ever heard.
He laugh a bit bago sinagot ang sinabi ko. "Inaamin ko na n'ong una ay sinunod ko lang 'yong inuutos sa akin ni Andrew pero maniniwala ka ba kung sasabihin ko sa'yo ngayon na totoong nagustuhan talaga kita?"
Ano raw? Nagustuhan niya talaga ako. Pero ano nga kayang dahilan at inutos 'yon sa kanya ni Andrew? Noong una inisip ko na inutos 'yon ni Andrew to keep an eye on me, But now I know and I realized na hindi naman talaga iyon ang dahilan.
"Andrew told me to you to make sure na hindi mo guguluhin si Matina."
I knew it! Alam kong si Matina ang dahilan ng lahat. Muli kaming natahimik pagkatapos ng ilang segundo nagsalita ulit siya.
"Bakit mo iniiwasan 'yong tanong ko?"
Napatingin ako sa kanya, I knew what he's going to say but this is not the right time to confess his feeling.
"Michael tatapatin kita, hindi pa ako handang pumasok sa isang relasyon ulit."
Napayuko naman siya at bahagya pang napailing. Tila ba inaasahan na niya na ayun ang isasagot ko.
"Alam ko naman, dahil mahal mo pa si Andrew."
Medyo mahina 'yong dulo ng sinabi niya pero malakas ang pandinig ko kaya dinig na dinig ko pa rin. I also felt his emotions, He's in pain. But honestly saying its nothing to do with Andrew. Tanggap ko na na hindi niya ako mahal at nararamdaman ko naman na hindi na rin ganoon kalalim ang nararamdaman ko sa kanya. I just overwhelmed by the feelings when I accidentally heard them talking kaya nagawa kong halikan siya. And aside from that I was trying to deny that I started noticing Michael's presence. So I forced myself to believe that I still love Andrew.
"Maybe you tough outside, you have a very strong personality but I know deep inside your still fragile and you needs to be keep." He shook his head and look away "And I never thought how painful it is, to know that I'm not the keeper you need."
"Michael...."
"Don't pity me," he refused the hand I offered to comfort him "Kaya ko 'to!" pinaniwala niya pa 'yong sarili.
"Michael nagkakamali ka, hindi si Andrew ang dahilan kung bakit kita ni-reject it just that---" I took a deep breath before continuing " I'm not yet ready. Hindi ko pa kayang magmahal ulit, pero hindi ibig-sabihin na may mahal akong iba kaya hindi kita kayang mahalin."
Nararamdaman ko naman na hindi ko na rin mahal si Andrew. Pinaniwala ko lang 'yong sarili ko na na mababalik pa 'yong dating kami at 'yong dati naming nararamdaman. At sa totoo lang nakatulong 'yong pangungulit ni Michael para ma-realize ko 'yon. Inaamin ko na nitong mga huling araw siya na rin ang laman ng isip ko at hindi si Andrew. Pero kailangan ko pa ng panahon para makasiguro sa nararamdaman ko. I don't want to be unfair with him. I don't want to gave him a false hope hanggat hindi pa ako sigurado.
"Don't worry I respect your decision, Pero siguro pwede naman tayong maging magkaibigan 'di ba?" mayamaya'y tanong niya. Medyo gumaan na rin 'yong boses niya.
Kaibigan? Si Michael? Tatango sana ako nang magsalita ulit siya.
"I can't accept two rejection at the same time," biro niya pa. "Please?!" Now he's looking at me with puppy eye. I also want him to be my friends, kaya tumango ako.
"So, simula ngayon friends na tayo?"
"Friends!" I answered and offer my hand for a handshake.
"Friends!" Nakangiti ring tinanggap niya ang kamay ko. I never thought na magkakaroon ako ng kaibigan na kasing kulit niya. He notice that I'm smiling habang napapailing.
"Anong nakakatawa?"
"Wala lang!" I shrugged "I just can't imagine na magiging kaibigan kita. I never thought na magkakaroon ako ng kaibigan kagaya mo"
He pout, He's really cute every time he's doing that. He looks like a kid.
"Ako rin naman, hindi ko akalain na magkakaroon ako ng kaibigan na kasing arte mo."
"Ah!" I said at hinampas siya sa braso. " Babawiin ko na 'yong sinabi ko."
"Wala ng bawiian magkaibigan na tayo."
Magkaibigan na kami, but who knows it just for now. I just need to fix myself first. I want to be totally healed before I could open my heart for him.
💞💞💞
BINABASA MO ANG
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