As someone who was a virgin for the longest time, I can say that I am no longer considered that. My innocence was stripped away last night. On October 22 of 2017. That was the day when I gave it up to a friend who I had a crush on.
So we did it..... like three times.
I'm not going to get into all the details about what happened that night. Except that we were watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre while doing it. We had to ask his roommate to leave like twice and the third time he came back, he decided to go at it again.
So now my stomach hurts because of it. I heard it happens a lot and I was super scared and googled why that might be happening. It got all scary when it said I could have some kind of disease. I was like haha NOPE ENOUGH INTERNET FOR TODAY.
But beyond that, I'm still asexual. Sex doesn't define if you're ace or not. It was just an act.
I just wanted to get rid of the fact that I was a virgin still at the age of nineteen and a college student and still was considered that. I felt uncomfortable.
But... I think I may be getting attached to him.
They say that having sex released endorphins in the brain that makes someone more attracted to them. Well I think it's worked.
Because I really really really like this guy.
I want it to work between us.
But then I heard that he's been on and off with a girl and having sex with my friend at the same time. And I don't want to be one of those people in that. However that was a year ago, so I hoped things like that have changed.
I mean, I stayed over the night with him. Every few hours he would kiss me after waking up. He's a loud snorer. But he's cute and adorable and I really want to be with him.
Is that a crime?
Dammit, I hate emotions.
