Mrs. Konecki : The Battered Wife

11

ADELE

I winced in pain when I felt something cold touching me down there. I opened my eyes and I saw Simon. I tried to move away but I can possibly do that in my state. I am too weak but I am afraid. "Please...stop... go away, don't come near me..." I said sob.

"Babe..." he said holding my arms. I just curl my body in the bed because that's the best I can do. "Please... look at me babe. I love you... I didn't mean to do that... please forgive me please." He cried on my hands.

"You hurt me... physically and now I can't even move my body because of what you did. Even my own mum didn't do that to me. What do you expect me to do? Forgive you?" I said still crying.

"No babe, please let me show you I am sorry. You could hate me but please... don't be afraid of me... that would only make me worst." He said.

"What do you mean?" I ask. He cried like a child... "Simon, you need to tell me...what are you doing?" I said, he gets up and start removing his shirt.

"No babe...don't panic." He said. He show me his back which I didn't got the chance to see last night. "What was that?" I ask in dismay. His back is full of scars. He break down in front of me.

"If I tell you, you'll leave me." He wail. "Simon how do you expect me to leave in my condition? Tell me what do you need to tell me so I could understand just why you did that to me... or is it really because you're not my first? Is that it?" I ask is a shaky voice. Of course that would hurt if that's the case... I thought of him as the perfect guy for me.

"No. No. No, babe, God knows I love you so much I don't care about your past." He paused.

"Adele...I...um...my mum's bestfriend did this to me." He started, I didn't say a thing and he goes on.

"She's a sadist and I was rebelling on my parents when I was a teen. She made me her submissive and she is the dominant. I grew up like that. She gave me money, car and house in exchange of letting her beat me whenever she like. She find satisfaction in others pain and I was exposed to that until my own system seems to look for it... want it..." I was shocked and I pitied him. He suffered as a child.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask him.

"I was afraid you'll leave me. I was afraid you won't marry me."

"So... you decided to hurt me... what do you want to happen then? Beat me... kick me and punch me whenever you'll take me to bed so you'd be satisfied? How about me Simon? Do you think I will love that? Haven't you think of my welfare?" I ask him.

"I know... I am selfish, no one will ever have you but me. Please help me..." he cried.

"Yes, you are selfish... if you really love me you must put have thought of my happiness first before yours."

"I know, I know babe... so please, help me fix myself. Help me... we will work it up right? You won't leave yeah?"

"You must not trap me in this hopeless marriage... you're sick."

"Come on... babe... please... let me make it up to you... let's make it work baby. I promise I will never do that to you again... never."

I sigh. I once thought I wanted to make it work... but I don't like anyone to hear about this, I don't want my mum to worry about me, even Laura or Ben... and Peter... I don't want him to find out. I need to think.

"Simon, will you please leave me on my own... I need to think."

"Would you want to relax on the tub? I prepared you a warm water with your favorite scent." He said, I closed my eyes... that's the Simon I fell inlove with... the Simon who's caring and not the sick freak man who beat me.

"Would you mind carrying me there?" I said, I badly needed that to ease the pain.

He carry me and gently put me on the warm water. I immediately felt the comfort it could bring. I hand me my iPod. "I will be downstairs. If you need anything just call me." and he left.

I played songs on shuffle. I closed my eyes and listen to the music.

......
......
...if our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?...

Zedd's Clarity plays on... and I sing along with tears dripping down my cheeks.

......
...if our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?...

......
......
...don't speak as I try to leave cause we both know what we'll choose...
...if you pull, then I'll push too deep and I'll fall right back to you...

Why are you my clarity... I thought thinking of someone.

The next song that plays made me cry more... I never listen to my song when I was alone... I never listen to it intentionally, I mean I don't wanna hear myself sound so pathetic... especially with this particular song... it was my big break and it was brutally about Alex being engage with someone the soonest we split... he moves on even before it ended.

I never thought I could listen... and sing it with so much pain more than how I felt thinking about Alex.

I let myself cry in so much pain..."You should be happy. I am sorry for not being strong enough... but I love you."

"And I love you too... help me Peter... help me...I need you." I slip my body on the tub letting my head sunk on the water.

"Oh my God! Babe... no! Wake up! Please..." I can hear him but I can't open my eyes... I can't feel my body and suddenly I dozed off.