Falling - Benny and Nina - An Adapted In The Heights Roleplay (COMPLETE)

18 - Falling Heartbroken

Benny saw Nina sat on the bench, he ran up to her "NINA!" he called out.

Anxious, she said, "Benny!" She was still a bit confused and upset.

Benny pulled her up and into a tight hug. He held her tight for a few seconds. Then held her arm's length away. "Okay, I have a few things I need to say. " He looked down at his feet, then back into her eyes. "Firstly, I'm so, so sorry for running off earlier, I panicked and didn't know what else to do. I was upset, angry, confused and heartbroken all at once. I'm sorry I didn't turn around when you called me. I wanted to, but by body stopped me turning, it made me run. I ran to Castle Gardens, sat by that tree, and cried and cried and cried. I thought I'd lost you forever. I really did. I regret running away, but it made me realize something. I can't let you go, ever, no matter what your father says. I need you in my life Nina, forever. I may have lost my job because of you, but you've worked so hard to make it to college, you must take this opportunity. I may not have a job out here but I'm sure I can find something out west. I love you Nina Rosario, and nothing will ever change that, not your father, not your dreams, nothing."

She didn't know how to respond, still partially stunned. Stumbling over her words, she mumbled, "Stanford's not my dream anymore. Not after last year."

"Really, but your father is making you go. I can be there with you? I'll be by your side out there." Benny responded, pulling her closer.

She looked into his eyes with downplayed joy in hers. "Benny, you know you can't do that. You don't have enough money to go out there, and just to add onto that, you can't stay in a dorm! Plus, you'll be so bored out there, without the rest of the barrio there! You belong here, with the rest of our friends!" she said, and immediately regretted it. He could easily take that he "belonged here" as an insult. Her tears watered from guilt, but she blinked them down, feeling like this wasn't a worthy moment to cry.

"I don't belong here Nina, I don't belong in California either, I belong with you. To me you're more important than everyone else in this place put together, you are my everything. You saved my life last night." Tears began to sting his eyes as he reminisced over it all. "I'll take out a loan, sell my apartment here, and fly over and get a better paying job to pay off that loan."

"Please, Benny, don't work so hard over me. We can go long distance. With my parents being so insistent on me being there, I know that I'll be able to come back for the holidays. With my parents helping to pay for college, I'll have more time to call you. Please, don't fuss over me," she protested.

"But I don't want you being upset, I have nothing here anyway besides my apartment and Usnavi. I can get paid more out in California, which means I can give you what you deserve."

"Benny, please," she begged, desperation in her eyes.

Instead of saying anything be leaned forward, moved one hand to her cheek, one round her back and kissed her on the lips, hard and emotionally. He wanted her to realize how much he needed her there and hoped she saw that she needs him. Nina was a strong and very mature girl for her age. But as was proved yesterday, she did have breakdowns, she needed someone she loved to be around her to keep her company when she felt alone.

Nina tried hard to kiss back, but found herself unable. She didn't feel the spark she did before. She just wanted him to stop fussing over her. Sure, she felt weak, but she needed him here in Washington Heights. He didn't understand.

Benny's heart shattered when she didn't kiss back. "I'm too late, aren't I?" He said tears falling down his face and looking at the ground.

"No! Please don't cry", she said, "Baby, please don't cry," she repeated, her voice turning to a whimper. She put her hand on the side of his head. "You're not too late," she said, "You wouldn't understand why I don't want you there. California's not the same as here. In fact, it's nothing like it. I don't want you getting hurt. Or worse," she trailed off.

"If it will make you happy, I'll stay here, but can I please go out with you for the first few weeks just to make sure everything starts off okay. Then when you are sure you definitely want to stay at Stanford, then I'll come home. I care about you and I don't want you getting hurt out there physically or emotionally."

"I'll think about it, but my dad won't want you to fly out with me. Maybe we can discuss this more later when we've both had time to think about it all."

"It doesn't matter what your dad thinks or wants. This is about what you want, what I want, what we want as a couple. And I will come down and visit you and Bianca whenever I'm able to." He suddenly froze, he hadn't told Nina about meeting Bianca.

Though she sensed the tension, she said, "Bianca? Bianca Tucker?"

"Yeah, I guess so, your roommate right. She's so different from you."

"Yeah, she is. We never really got around to talking much, but she still knows all too well who I am, despite how little time I spent at the dorm."

"Yeah well, when I was crying at the tree in the Castle Gardens, she walked over and asked if I was okay. I told her what happened at college, and she said she had a roommate also called Nina who lost her scholarship. So I mentioned your full name and we realized we were both talking about you, she seemed way too enthusiastic after I told her about losing my job and potentially losing you. But she's over by the gate, assuming she hasn't left."

She weakly laughed, "That sounds like her," Nina said, thinking of all the times she did something like that.

Benny said, "Well she's been waiting for me to finish talking to you, so shall we head over?"

"Sure, why not," she said, seriously doubting her choice to say so.

"I love you Nina, don't ever forget that. Even when you go back to Stanford, I'm always a phone call away." He said as he took her hands in his and interlocked their fingers.

"I know," she said sadly. She looked at the ground, feeling mad at herself.

Benny lifted her chin up with his free hand, "Sweetie, what's up? You're clearly not happy."

She said, "I don't know," even though she knew exactly what it was. She felt that she had let Benny down.

"Nina, I can read you better than that, and I know it's about me." he rested his forehead on hers and looked into her eyes.

Nina felt sick to her stomach. Questions swam in her head. How could she be so weak that she could be read? How is it that she couldn't just block her emotions out? Why did she have to be so sensitive?

Benny could also tell that she wasn't up for talking right now. "Come here carina." He enveloped her in a hug, it wasn't a tight passionate hug, it was a calming, stress relieving and sentimental hug. He stroked her hair, that always helped her relax.

Somehow, she didn't feel more relaxed when he hugged her. Rather, Nina tensed up more. Her heart broke to think that for once, she wasn't calmed by him.

"Let's go say hi to Bianca, I know you're not 100% up to it, it only has to be for a minute, she's been there for ages." He kissed her forehead and took ahold of her hand again.

She mumbled, "Okay," in a solemn, but firm, don't-mess-with-me manner. Tears threatened to spill, but she fought them back, trying not to seem weak, as she was.

Benny's heart fell knowing something was wrong, there was tension in the air, he made a mental promise to not sleep until he had sorted everything out between them. They then eventually made their way over to Bianca.