Falling - Benny and Nina - An Adapted In The Heights Roleplay (COMPLETE)

95 - Falling Repeatedly

Benny slept soundly the rest of the night and woke up with Nina beside him awake. "Morning gorgeous," he said smiling and looking into her beep brown eyes. He had forgotten all about last night until he brought his arm up to stroke her cheek and saw it wrapped in bandages. He curled into a ball and started crying into his knees.

Nina immediately hugged him, rubbing his back and saying, "Shhh, it'll be okay, babe. Calm down, it's alright." She hated to see him like this. "It's alright, boo, it'll be okay."

"I'm sorry, I completely forgot what happened until I saw my arm." He sobbed into her chest.

"It's alright. Should I teach you how to stop cutting now? Would that make you feel better?"

"Yes please, princessa. It means I can forget about it sooner." Benny sat up and looked down at his arms, both wrapped up with small areas where the blood was coming up through the bandage.

She sat up on her elbow. "Well, first of all, when or if you do feel the urge to cut, find something else. What I normally used was an ice cube. It numbed my arm instead of hurting it, but it still reminded me of the numbness I felt when I cut. Also, you could use a red marker or some red food coloring to imitate a cut or blood. If you know that I'm not in class, then you can call me and talk. If I am in class, think about the things that you'll miss out on with me, and the rest of the people in the barrio if you cut and commit. Think of the future we won't get together, the future I know we both want so much. It may make you feel bad for a moment, but in the long run, it'll pay off. Don't try and keep away from sharp objects and don't let them scare you. Let them tease your urge, but never give in. You have to build a resistance."

"Thank you for that Nina. It means a lot. And it should definitely help me. Give me your schedule as soon as you get it for next year, then I can re-write it to Eastern time, so I don't accidentally call you in a class. Then it means if I do call you in a class then it's an emergency."

"Of course, Boo."

"Thank you for everything Nina. Absolutely everything. If you ever feel depressive, ever feel alone, ever feel sad. I'm always going to be here. If you ever ask me to leave, just know all I'm doing is trying to help. I know you hate me seeing you in that state and I hate you seeing me in that state, but we need each other there. So, I will always be there."

"I know." But she knew that he wouldn't always be there. He wouldn't always be there, if she had to leave a class to cry, or when she got trampled by people in the hallways. He wouldn't always be there. "But the reason why I asked you to leave wasn't only because I hate being seen like that. It was more because there are some things that others can't handle, only I can. Like when I ran away, I didn't calm down until I was completely alone. I went down to a lonely part of the Harlem River and sat there until I calmed down. There are some stages of panic, where other people only panic me more, and I know when they are. Like Usnavi said, when I ask for space, it's not because I'm trying to be flaky. It's because I need the space."

"Okay. If you tell me to leave you alone in the future, I'll go. I just get worried about you, that's all."

"I know you do. But sometimes the best thing that you can do for a person, and yourself, is to let them be."

"Okay. I'm sorry. Can we just forget about last night and move onto today, our last day here?"

"Okay."

Benny climbed out of bed and changed into the final change of clothes he had. He then walked into the bathroom. He instantly turned around and faced Nina, who was still on the bed. "Baby, where's my razor? And did you clean up?"

"In the kitchen and yes." She curled up and hugged her knees, not wanting to get out of bed.

"Okay, I just need to shave. And I mean actually shave. I'm not a fan of this much stubble." He stroked his chin a little. "It doesn't suit me as much as it does Usnavi."