A Happy Ending (Shannon and Cammie)

Chapter 31

Cammie POV

"Thank you all so much!! You have no idea what this has done for me. I love you," she spoke with tears in her eyes. She scoured the crowd, as she did at every one of these events. I couldn't help but hope that she was looking for me. I swear she looked right at me every single time. She would do a double take and look again, squinting in the bright lights. I would slip away before she had a chance to realize it was really me. 

She really seemed like she was doing so well. I was afraid I would have broken her when I left. Part of me hurts seeing her so happy. I don't want her to hurt, but I wonder if she still misses me. When I heard about her film I went to its first showing. I wanted to talk to her, but I was so scared that she hated me. I saw how happy she was up on the stage that day, and I knew I couldn't ruin that for her. 

I was such a coward when Shannon asked me to marry her. I was so in love with her. I still am. But I ran at the first sign of real, life-long commitment. It's not that I didn't think I wanted to be with Shannon the rest of my life, it's just that I hadn't planned that far ahead yet. It was too soon for me. I feel so selfish now, but in that moment I was too scared to do anything but run. So that's what I did. I left Hawaii and came home to pack my things. I told Shannon I was going back to Pittsburg. Really, I just stayed in LA with an old friend until I got an apartment of my own. I feel awful. I didn't even give her a real explanation. I suppose there really isn't one to give her, though. 

None of our friends even know where I disappeared to after Hawaii. I couldn't tell Amy I was still in town and risk having her tell Shannon. Plus, I knew they all must hate me for what I did to her. 

I took a leap and decided to go to a bar downtown. It was risky, because I knew this bar was where Ally and Shannon always used to go. Part of me hoped I'd see her, though. 

It was a lot later before I worked up the courage to actually go. I noticed Ally's car in the parking lot when I pulled in and I felt my heart stop. I knew she had to be in there. I gave myself a little pep talk while sitting in my car. I was insanely nervous. Finally, I got out of my car and started walking inside. 

"Cammie?!" I heard Amy's voice from across the parking lot. 

I turned to see Amy and Ally standing hand in hand leaving the bar. They looked completely bewildered to see me here, which wasn't surprising. "Hey guys," I said, awkwardly. 

Amy and I shared an awkward hug, while Ally stood back. I could tell she was pissed at me. "What are you doing back here, Cammie?" She asked sternly, but with a sigh. 

"I never left," I stated plainly. I didn't want to get too much into detail about it. Shannon was the one that deserved to hear the details. 

They both looked at each other and then at me. "What do you mean?" Amy asked. 

Before I could answer we heard the door to the bar open. I didn't even have time to look at who it was before Amy pulled me behind a dumpster. I turned and there she was. Shannon was getting into a car that I'm assuming was an Uber. I silently celebrated that she wasn't leaving with anyone. 

We all stayed still until the car was out of sight. "You need to talk to her," Ally said. I nodded in agreement. I cut my conversation with them off there, because they were right. I needed to talk to Shannon. I didn't even bother going into the bar, I just went back to my car. 

I drove around for a little bit, rehearsing what I would say to her. I waited about thirty minutes, and then went to our old apartment. Truthfully, I wasn't even sure if she stilled lived there. 

Sure enough, I saw her car parked outside when I got there. It gave me chills just being there. 

I felt like I was going to have a panic attack as I walked up the steps. I hesitated before I knocked on the door. I thought maybe I would regret it. What if she didn't want to see me?

I couldn't take it anymore, though. I built up the courage and knocked on her door. 

I heard shuffles from inside and then the latch on the door clicked. My heart rate skyrocketed the closer I heard her get. 

It looked like she had been in bed. She rubbed her eyes before looking to see who it was. When she did, her eyes nearly fell from her head. Her face went pale. "Cammie?" She whispered in disbelief. 

"Hi," I said softly. It was so good to see her, no matter the circumstances. Seeing her could always brighten my day. 

She shut her eyes tight and then opened them again as if she didn't believe what she was seeing. She shook herself back to reality when she realized this wasn't a dream. "Uh, wha- what are you doing here?" 

"I miss you."

She started to tear up but she blinked them away. She shook her head at me, "you don't get to do that." She looked like she was going to start sobbing, "you don't get to say you miss me when you were the one that left." 

"You're right. I owe you an explanation," I paused. "And an apology." 

She raised her eyebrows, "I'm waiting." 

"Can I come in?" I asked. 

She hesitated for a moment, but then opened the door wider to let me in. I walked over and sat on the couch, and she followed after. Only she sat on the chair. I noticed the living room was rearranged differently and there were not longer pictures of us scattered around the apartment, rightfully so. 

"I'm sorry," I started in. She didn't say anything, so I continued. "I lied to you when I said I was going back to Pittsburg. I've been in LA this whole time, I just couldn't bring myself to come see you. I've felt awful about leaving, but I didn't know how to come back after all this time." I felt myself start to cry but I tried to hold it in as long as possible. 

She shifted herself in the chair, "then why did you? Why did you leave if you felt so awful about it?" She sounded angry, and I didn't blame her. 

"I was scared, Shan," I said softly. "I run when I get scared. It's not that I didn't want to marry you, it's just that I wasn't ready for you to ask."

"You didn't have to leave." 

"I didn't want to, but I knew nothing would be the same if I stayed. I regretted it the moment I left, and I've wanted to come back ever since. I just didn't want you to hate me for this," I told her, truthfully. 

She looked away from me. She didn't say anything for a minute. "So why now?" She finally asked. 

I shrugged, "I tried so many times. Every time I saw you, it made me want to do it even more." I didn't even realize what I had just said until it was too late. 

Shannon looked confused for a minute, but then her face relaxed when she finally put it together. "It was you, wasn't it?" She almost sounded relieved. 

I nodded. "I came to every event, Shan. I never stopped caring, I just didn't know how to tell you I was sorry," I started crying now. 

Shannon looked off in another direction. She looked shocked, like she was trying to process everything. I couldn't blame her. Up until now, she had thought I was just gone forever. 

It was silent for a minute or two until she finally spoke up, "I need some time to process this."

I just nodded and stood up, she did the same. I walked over to the door and  she followed me. Before I got completely outside the door I turned to face her. "I'm proud of you, Shannon," I said. I really had been so proud of her for what she was doing, and it meant so much to me just to be able to tell her that. 

Her face softened into a hint of a smile and I smiled back at her. "Goodnight, Cammie," she said. "We'll talk tomorrow."