finding thea

Chapter 46

THEA POV

"What are you doing here?" my mom asked.

"It's nice to see you too," I replied. I set my bag down and scanned the room. No men. Lots of emptied bottles. A couple holes in the walls.

I laughed to myself.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"What did you just say?" I asked.

"I asked if you are okay? You were laughing to yourself," she said.

"For almost 10 years, mom, this is the first time you acted concern," I said.

"You father took you away. I didn't think you will be back," she said. "Look. I am sorry for what I did. I had-" she paused. "issues."

"You think?" I asked.

"I am sorry," she said.

"No you are not," I fired back.

"You are my daughter-"

"No," I stopped her. "I am nothing to you because you are nothing to me. I came back not for you," I said. "I will work and earn my own money. You-" I circled her. "stay the hell out of my way."

As quickly as the sun can blind your eyes, she grabbed my hand and pushed me against the wall.

"Talk to me like this and I will strangle you, bitch," she said.

I smiled. I grabbed her hand and twisted it gently but she felt it. I was stronger. I know how to fight back.

She was on so much drugs that she can't even walk in a straight line.

"Don't start a war with me. I came armed," I said.

"You've changed," she said.

"Pain does that to you," I mumbled and walked upstairs to my room.

It was still the same. More bottles on the floor. She probably had men sleeping over.

Disgusted, I grabbed the mattress and dragged it out of my room.

"What are you doing?" she asked, when I threw the bed downstairs and dragged it outside. I ignored her and set it on fire.

I remember nights bleeding on the bed. I remember night, holding onto it, thinking it could comfort me. I remember night crying till I fall asleep.

That wasn't me anymore. I won't let myself be that person again.

"What are you doing?" she scolded. "you caused so much smoke."

"Please, don't act like you care for the earth. The only person you ever cared about is yourself."

"The cops will be here," she said.

"Point proven," I rolled my eyes. "Then you better clean it up before she find your jar of weed." I head back inside the house and locked myself in my room.

I immediately sank to the floor. There is a difference between a bad ass and acting to be one. I had to put on this face that I didn't care because once people know you cared, they hold the power to destroy you.

I had my heart ripped out of me. Since I left LA, my mind had been consumed by what I would do once I got back, what I would say to my mom, and what my next step will be.

Now that I am here, my mind drifted off to Logan Paul. I had flashes of memories of us, playing guitar in my room, taking late night drives for frozen yogurt, teasing each other in bed but arguing who gets to shower first.

Fuck.

Things to do:

1. Get a job

2. Get Logan out of my fucking head.

No one can hurt you if you don't let them.