finding thea

Chapter 55

THEA POV

I buried myself in his arms. He held me as tightly as I held him. We were both broken. Time past and jet lag was a bitch. We locked each other's eyes. Neither of us want to look away. His clear blue eyes were like a mist. I couldn't fathom what he was thinking but he looked at me like I was the one to be read.

Lydia knocked on the door and we realized the sun was up.

After getting ready for the day, we head down for breakfast. Jeff was back and Andy was making breakfast.

"Morning," he said.

"Morning," Logan replied.

Brandon walked into the room, pissed.

"What happened?" Lydia asked.

"I hate hates," Brandon said. "What makes them think spreading hate does anything? Does bring us down make them a millionaire?"

"For some, yes," Jeff said.

"Well, the good thing that did come from this is you know who is really your friend," Andy said. "I heard Chloe unfollowed you and anyone that is related to you."

"Bitch," Lydia mumbled.

I looked at Logan and his face were blank. He didn't leave evidence of sadness on his face. I guess once you learn where you stand, you gain more control.

After breakfast, I sat outside near the pool to finish the song for Logan. As I wrote the song, I felt my heart swell. It hit close to home because at one point, I wanted to give up. My mother abused me. I was living in fear everyday. But I made it out. I didn't know if I was strong because I didn't end it myself or if I was weak because I couldn't end it. Now, I know we all have two wolves living inside of us. One light and filled with love but one dark filled with demons. If you unlocked their cage and let them fight, who will win?

The one you feed.

I stopped feeding my demons when I decided to be better. I choose to live because dying was not my option.

Logan came and sat next to me. He took my draft from me and started reading it.

"This is amazing," he said when he finished.

"Meh," I said and took the paper from him. "I haven't found the right rhythm yet."

"Nothing will be perfectly right," he said. His voice cracked.

"No," I said. "they can't. People will always have opinion but that does not mean we stop trying."

He glanced at me and cupped my face with his hand.

"What would I do without you," he said and rested his forehead against mine. "thank you."

"You will do equally as great," I said. "You are better than this Logan. Don't beat yourself up too badly."

"How can I not?" his voice pled.

"We have to learn how to be our own best friend because we fall too easily into the trap of being our worst enemy," I said.

"Who's quote you used this time?" he chuckled.

"From yours truly," I smiled and have him a wink before refocusing on the song.

"Hey, Thea?"

"Yeah?" I asked but I was thinking of the notes in my head, paying little attention to him. He noticed it and lift my chin to face him.

"Go back to Ohio," he said. "Go say goodbye to your mom."

"I already did," I said and slapped his hand off me.

"I know what she did to you was wrong and I am not defending her," he said. "but saying goodbye is closure."

"There is nothing left for me to close," I said. "I need to be here and finish the song."

"You want to be here to finish the song but you need to be back there and send your mom away."

"No," I said stubbornly.

"I will go with you," he said.

"You can't leave your house without body guards," I pointed out.

"I will for you," he said. "I'll be there for you. Just as you have for me. It's okay to feel broken, Thea. You told me that. Take your own advice."

"I can't," I said and got up but he pulled my hand and I landed on his lap.

"Thea," his voice was deep and serious. "Going back maybe a good thing. I need to see my parents too," he said. "I already booked us tickets."

"Logan!" I protested.

"I don't understand why you don't want to go back? She can't hurt you anymore but not sending her away will," he said.

"I can't," I shook my head. I wanted to tell him why but my voice was stolen from me. I was shaking and I felt sick.

"Thea, did something else happened that you haven't tell me?" he asked. His voice cracked and I felt myself falling into the dark.