Nothing's Fine

Chapter 21

“Why did you want to see him before me?” Liam hissed, pushing Louis out of the way.

“I_” He cut me off.

“It doesn’t even matter!”

He walked over to the bed and started to get in. He wrapped himself up in the covers that were over me then brought me to his chest. He held on to me.

I looked at Louis who had a lop-sided smile on his face. He shook his head before waving good-bye and leaving.

Liam ran his hand through my hair, detangling in. His hand moved up and down my back, comforting me more. His body was shaking. I pushed away trying to see his face. His eyes were watering.

“Sarah, I’m sorry for sending you away okay? I don’t know what I was thinking! I’m sorry!” He cried.

“Liam_”

“No! It’s my fault! If I wasn’t so stupid, you would’ve never gotten hurt this bad!”

“Liam I’m_”

“I should’ve known! I should’ve seen the signs! I shouldn’t have left you! I’m sorry!”

I started crying. I couldn’t hold it in. He was apologizing to me? I didn’t tell him, yet he was apologizing to me?

I buried my face in the crook of his neck and cried. He shushed me, and ran his hands up and down my sides. He was trying to comfort me. Why? He was supposed to be pissed!

“Why are you apologizing to me?” I stupidly asked.

“Because you could’ve died because of me!” He hissed.

“But_I_Carter told me you were mad!”

“Why would I be mad Sarah? You almost died because of me! Why would I be mad at you?”

“Because_ because I lied!” I screamed.

His eyes were glazed over. I couldn’t tell if his emotions had changed any, so I just laid there and waited for him to continue.

“Yeah. Yeah you did. And you almost died because of it.”

Tears began forming again.

“It’s my fault.”

“What?”

“It’s my fault. I should’ve just given in to you.”

“Yeah, you should’ve.”

I thought for a moment though. Would he have believed me? Probably not. Liam never believes anything. I looked at his eyes. I guess through all this, he neglected to think about the lying factor. He was pissed now. He got out of the bed and started pacing the room. Why did I even bring it up?

“Why wouldn’t you just tell me?”

“Why would I? When did I have time to?” I shot back.

“The first damn day! We were on the couch! You told me your boyfriend_ Do you even have a boyfriend?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“I believe under the damn circumstances, everything about you is my business!”

“You’re not my father!”

“No, but I’m your best friend!”

“Enough with that! You are not!”

“I fucking saved your life, yet, I’m not your best friend still? Really?”

“Liam, thank you for saving my damn life. But you’re neglecting to realize, that shit happened to me every day! Before you even left, when we were still friends, she was beating me! Practically my whole life, I’ve gone with being beaten. When you told me to quit my job, do you want to know what you were really asking me to do? You were asking me to not have any money to pay our bills, to get food, my make-up to cover the bruises, and just basic needs! Not only that, but you were asking me to have more time to spend at home, where I got beaten every day! I probably lost my job because you told me to leave and I listened, which now means, I have nowhere to go! Because I’m willing to bet, the police took my mother away! I’m only seventeen! They’ll end up putting me in a home till I’m eighteen! Then where do I go? Huh? You don’t know do you? Because you’re not my best friend! You’re some famous person that is going to leave the second he’s allowed to! You ever think about that? That that was the reason I didn’t want to rekindle our freaking friendship? That I couldn’t bear losing you, for the third time! No! Because you don’t think about what I might be feeling! You only think about what you’re feeling! You wanna know why I invited Louis in here first? Because I couldn’t deal with you being mad at me because as much as I want to hate you, I don’t! You’ve changed, but in my sick, twisted mind, I still think my Liam is in there and I can’t stand feeling like my Liam is mad at me! So thank you for saving my life! I’m sorry that I can’t fucking be your best friend!”