Nothing's Fine

Chapter 46 - Liam's POV

“You’re an asshole you know that?” I slammed the door as I walked through it.

“What?” Louis looked up from his phone.

“You knew! You knew she had the baby! Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”

I took the first swing at him and it hit him square in the mouth. He got up and punched me back. I went for another one, just so that I was on top, but then stopped. I was fighting my best mate over something that was my fault.

I sat down on the bed, and held my face in my hands.

“She has two Lou! And one’s not even mine. She looks like me though. She answered the door, and I, I just knew. I knew before she even called her mommy. I just, why didn’t you tell me? You of all people should know what that feels like!” I glared at him.

“Because I promised her I wouldn’t, and I wasn’t going to lose her trust.”

“We were friends first. What about losing my trust? You know how long I’ve been trying to get ahold of her, yet you still didn’t tell me. Why didn’t she want to tell me? I could’ve helped. I could’ve been there. Kaylie could’ve had a father!”

“Hold up, could have?” He questioned.

“Yes!”

I looked up at him just to be round housed. I fell back against the bed, holding my face.

“What the hell was that for?” I yelled through my bloody nose.

“You left her? You found out you had a child, and you just left?”

“I couldn’t deal with it_”

“Couldn’t deal with what Liam? That you, for once in your life, have to take responsibility?”

“She didn’t tell me!”

“So what? The child is yours! She’s afraid to let you back in and you know why! You’ve caused her so much pain, and she doesn’t want to get caused even more pain, or have you hurt her girls, because face it. You have a tendency to show up, get her to take you back, then leave when things get tough. You never stay with her for the long run, and she doesn’t want that. You need to man the fuck up, and show her that you’re going to do everything you can for, if not her, then your child, because god damn it Liam, if you don’t, I will personally knock you into the next century. If I don’t kill you, you sure as hell will be in a coma for a long time. I manned up Liam. I proved to her that I could be a dad. We started our family together. Here you are, being a damn douche bag, irresponsible, idiot, when you’re supposed to be the damn sensible one. What is your sensible brain telling you Liam? Is this right? Fuck, tell me if you think you being here right now is right? Because it’s not! You should be there, doing everything in your damn power to prove you’re going to be there for your child. Yes, she adopted another one. You can be here for her too! You wanna know why you should be there for that child? Because if you hadn’t been so blind, all those years you two were friends, she wouldn’t have been in that situation because I know for a fact you would’ve gotten her away. You would’ve forced her to move in with you. Where is that Liam now? Why aren’t you doing what she needs you for? She can’t do it on her own, no matter how many times she tells you she can! She can’t.”

“She won’t want me.” I whispered.

“The hell she won’t! She’s in love with you Liam! Why do you think she’s given you multiple chances? Why do you think she let you back into her life? She’ll do it again if you’ll show her you fucking care. You’ve practically ruined your chances, and you’re going to have to work that much harder now since you walked out like the coward you are! But you’re going to go over there, apologize for whatever idiot thing you said to her, and make a damn effort. If she tells you to leave, leave. But you go back the next damn day, and the day after that. When I found out she was pregnant, it took all my power not to tell you, but I had faith in you. I told her, day after day, that if she told you, you would come back and be with her, to help her. So now, not only have you destroyed your chances with her, but you’ve made me look like a liar! You’re being absolutely pathetic and if you don’t get your damn ass back over there now, I swear, I will kill you right here, right now, with my bare fucking hands, you got that? I was there for El. It’s your turn to be there for Sarah. She needs you Liam. Not only does she need you for Kaylie, but she needs your love. If you’re not capable of giving her love, then at least be there for the baby. She’s yours too, and it’s time to grow up. You’ve gotten an almost four year pass, just like I did. You’ve missed almost four years of her life. Man up and don’t miss anymore.”

I got up without saying another word. She was just on the outskirts of town, and this time I was prepared. This time I wouldn’t let her down. If she tells me to leave, then that’s that. But I’m going to get to know my daughter if it’s the last thing I do.