Nothing's Fine

Chapter 14

“Liam!”

Why was I running after him? I don’t know. I guess I owed him an explanation, but he didn’t want to hear it. He kept walking, not slowing down to talk to me. I heard the doors opening behind me, indicating that the hospital people were chasing after me.

I told them that I fell down the stairs multiple times because I had a sprained ankle and wasn’t taking proper care. It was a legitimate excuse because it was technically true. It just wasn’t the full truth about how I got the sprained ankle.

After I finished my lie, Liam got up and stormed out of the hospital, not saying a word to me. I knew he was pissed, I just didn’t know why. I lied. So what? I ran after him because I wanted to know why, not remembering that I was seriously injured.

I sped up, hoping to catch up to Liam before the nurses caught up to me.

“Liam!” I yelled. Finally he stopped and turned around.

“What?” He spat.

“Why are you so pissed off?” I could barely get the words out I was breathing so hard.

“Because you won’t tell anyone the truth and I’m not just gunna sit here and watch you die from abuse!” He coughed.

I heard footsteps behind me, letting me know that my time was limited to fix this.

“I can’t just tell them that!”

“Why not?”

“Because, I can’t Liam! You’re supposed to be my friend and support me.”

“Don’t bullshit me about this friend stuff. You made it clear yesterday that you didn’t want that.”

He turned and started walking again as I was grabbed by the nurses. They were talking to me, or scolding me for that matter, but I didn’t care. If Liam and I weren’t in a fight before, we were now.

I let them drag me up back to my room. They laid me down and made me take some pain killers. I didn’t feel the need to tell them that I wasn’t hurting that bad. I closed my eyes as soon as my head hit the pillow. I didn’t dream, I just let the sleep take over me.

The next time I woke up, I was ready to go home. Ms. Payne signed my papers because my mom was at ‘work’.

I staggered out of the hospital. My body had healed, but my mental state hadn’t. There was so much going on up there. First, Liam was so pissed off at me. It hurt me to know that I actually caused it. I lied. It was my fault. He knows I’m lying. But he thinks I’m just lying to the hospital, what would happen if he found out I never actually told him the truth. Second, the hospital bill was going to process any time now. How the hell was I supposed to pay it? I was having a hard enough time supporting my mom’s drinking habit, paying the house bills, along with all our insurance. I had very little left over for food. How was I supposed to start paying this bill now? Third, the doctors said I had to stay off my feet for a week. That meant no work for me. Ms. Payne said she would enforce it. Not only did that mean no pay for a whole week, but it also meant I would be home, alone, with my mother, 24/7 for a damn week.  Shit.

“Sarah? Sweetie? We can take you home if you like? We’re not gunna make you walk home.”

I turned around and looked at Louis and Ms. Payne. They were standing by their car. I walked over. I guess if I was supposed to stay off my feet, I would stay off my feet.

I climbed in the back seat. Louis followed instead of sitting in the front with Ms. Payne. I sighed. He probably wanted to talk about it. The thing is, I didn’t really know what we had to talk about. Liam wasn’t going to talk to me. I’m sure he’s told Louis the ‘truth’ about what had happened to me.  Guess he’s here to scold me for lying also.

“Come here.” He pulled me into his side and held me.

I closed my eyes, as I let myself cry for the first time. My body began to shake. He shushed me, whispering things in my ear, comforting me. He rubbed his hands up and down my arms. It was exactly what Liam used to do when I would get upset.

I thought back to the first day I came to him crying. It was the day I almost came clean to him about my mom.

It was freshman year. A junior had asked me out on a date. This certain junior happened to be Josh Yule. Josh Yule hated Liam just as much as Liam hated him. He was on the football team while was the singer. Any girl that didn’t have Josh, had Liam. I had Liam, but I wanted Josh. I wanted Josh so bad that it hurt. Therefore, when he asked me out, Liam was out of my mind. Apparently, me choosing Josh made me get out of Liam’s mind also.

I went on the date and it was good, but after, he saw that the lights were out in my house and there was no car in my driveway. I knew my mom was in the house, she just didn’t have a car, and she was probably drunk sitting in the dark. He tried to get me to invite him in, but when I didn’t, he got pissed. He called me a prude, and then he told me about how he vowed to never date a freshman ever again because we were all prudes. He told the school this, and needless to say, all the girls in my class wanted to bang my head in. I neglect to mention that if I had sex with him, they would’ve still hated me.

That night, I received a ton of hate messages. My mom yelled for me to come downstairs. I couldn’t deal with her banter after that day, so I snuck out the window and ran to Liam. He was sitting in our usual spot by the water. I crashed into him crying. He took me in his arms; much like Louis was doing now. He whispered to me about how the girls were stupid, and how Josh was an idiot for doing that. He patted my back and flattened my hair. We sat like that for what seemed like an hour. Once my body stopped shanking and I could make out a full sentence without breaking down, we walked to his house together. That night, I fell asleep in his bed, cuddled up next to him. He sang me to sleep that night. I remember his hands, traveling up and down my body, giving me a chill, but at the same time, it comforted me.

The fight we had was forgotten. He never stayed mad at me. He never told me ‘I told you so’. He never made me apologize for ditching him. And here I was, staying mad at him, bitching at him, telling him he should’ve never left, and waiting for him to apologize. I’m such a damn idiot.