Nothing's Fine

Chapter 47

I was crying on Chantelle’s shoulder. The girls were already in bed since it was getting closer to nine. Chantelle put Emily to sleep and I put Kaylie. We switched off every day. Tomorrow I would put Emily to sleep, and she would put Kaylie. She was always there for me, as she was now. She listened as I called Liam every bad name I could think of, she eventually made the grilled cheese sandwiches for the girls, then came back and held me as I sobbed into her chest. We had been sitting here for the past five hours.

She tried to console me, but ended up just staying quiet, knowing that that was what I needed right now.  She got up every once and a while to go get tissues. When my eyes were finally void of tears, she pulled back.

“He’ll come back Sarah.”

“I won’t let him in.”

“Yes you will because you need him. He’s coming back, I promise.”

Those were the last words she said as she grabbed her coat. She told me she had an early morning so she had to get going. We bid our farewells, then I collapsed on the couch. I laid there, shaking for what seemed like eternity. I was being dramatic and I knew it, but I couldn’t pull myself together for the life of me. I knew I needed to be strong, and I should be able to be stronger, knowing that he knows, and still doesn’t wanna be here.

I heard little pitter patter and soon I was tapped on my shoulder. I looked up to be faced with Kaylie.

“Why are you crying?” She whispered.

“Better question is why are you still up?” I smiled.

“Because you’re sad and I don’t want you to be sad. Do you wanna play dolls?”

“No thank you. I’ll be happy if you go to sleep.” I tickled her tummy and pulled her into me.

She giggled before wrapping her hands in my hair.

“Who was that boy mommy?”

“Just a friend from a long time ago.”

“Why was he mad?”

I swallowed.  I knew this was coming. He wasn’t exactly being quiet. I’m quite surprised she wasn’t listening. I had to thank Chantelle even more tomorrow for keeping the occupied enough to not catch on about what we were saying.

I just smiled and rubbed her back.

“He wasn’t mad. He’s just a loud talker.” I nodded into my chest.

We laid there, not saying anything until her breathing slowed. I pulled away from her to see that she was sound asleep. I picked her up and cradled her to her bed. Once she was tucked in, I kissed her good night, once again, and walked over to Emily’s bed and repeated the process.

“I love you both.” I whispered into the night.

I walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch were so many tears had been shed today. I picked up the remote and turned the TV on. Ten minutes into Say Yes To The Dress, I heard footsteps coming up the porch. My heart tightened. I turned the TV off, and listened. There wasn’t another sound for about a minute, until I heard a loud sigh. There was a slight knock and I jumped off the couch.

I grabbed the umbrella next to the door. I unlocked it, slowly inching the door open. I got a little peak of brown hair and I let out a sigh of relief.

“What the hell are you doing Liam?” I hissed.

“What? Wait, what are you_ We’re you going to kill me with an umbrella?” He laughed.

I tried to control the smile that was creeping on my face, but I couldn’t. I started laughing with him. It was official, I needed a new weapon if I was going to save myself or my children from creeps.